


Radio Silence

by morningwitch



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idk what to tag this as, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, au where gabe becomes a famous musician, lowkey, singer/songwriter gabe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningwitch/pseuds/morningwitch
Summary: Gabriel sings of lost love and quiet hope as a musician in New York, while Jack is still in LA and firmly convinced Gabriel never even liked him like that in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un beta-ed but this has been sitting as a draft in my google docs for months now and I don't want to deal with it anymore lol

Jack Morrison never much liked listening to the radio. 

There were always too many commercials in his opinion, the hosts’ constant chatter tended to grate on his nerves, and, despite not actually minding pop music, Jack would rather listen to the sound of his neighbor drunkenly screaming obscenities at a damn football game than hear the same handful of songs repeated over and over. 

As it was, since Jack’s radio now blatantly refused to connect with anything that would let him control what played, he was forced to listen to both his drunk neighbor  _ and _ the radio without any say in the matter. 

The radio had plain stopped playing sound from his phone entirely, so it wasn’t like he could listen to his own music or anything, and just playing songs from the device itself wasn’t nearly loud enough to hear half the time. 

Strangest part of the whole ordeal, though, was the fact that the actual  _ radio _ setting only seemed to work on three channels. The rest of the stations were completely silent and no amount of button-pressing or fiddling or even just fucking  _ shaking _ the damn machine did anything to get the channels to work again. 

The first working station wasn’t even technically  _ working _ , per se- but it actually made noise, unlike all the other dead stations, so Jack considered it to be working regardless. It was mostly white noise, only occasionally broken by the sounds of someone speaking from very far away. Jack couldn’t tell what was being said, but the words definitely weren’t in English. Or in any other detectable language either, for that matter. The channel really creeped him out (like  _ really _ ) so he avoided it at all costs.

Second station was constantly airing a podcast about gardening, the narrator’s voice droning on and on about what seeds needed to be planted first and other shit like that- the entire thing was completely m unremarkable. The topic never changed. There were never any breaks in the podcast, just plants and soil. As much as Jack loved gardening (he  _ had _ been raised on a farm, after all) he has to change it after ten minutes of a never-ending rant about soil alkalinity. 

The third station was actual music (thank  _ god _ ), one of those super popular local pop stations that you could find ads for on billboards across the city. Which had its own set of problems unfortunately, but, lacking any other options, Jack was stuck listening to car insurance commercials, annoying MCs, and not nearly enough songs for the station to truly be filed under the category of ‘musical radio.’

He was sitting on the terrible couch in his unreasonably awful apartment, searching the internet for tips on how to fix his goddamn radio. It wasn’t going well. The springs in the couch dug uncomfortably into his legs and it was way too hot for his landlord to legally claim ‘working air conditioner’ on the lease. Then again, the man _was_ consistently drunk off his ass at any and all times of day, so there probably wasn’t much the guy was actually telling the truth about in the first place. Jack ran a hand through his hair in frustration and growled under his breath. He’d given up trying to get comfortable around two hours ago, but nothing could stop him from being annoyed by his situation anyway. 

It’d been almost a week of near constant commercials and he was losing his mind. 

Jack’s frustrated noise was loud enough to stir the dog resting on the couch next to him. Molly shifted on the cushion to his right, pressing her body closer to his thigh and laying her snout on his knee. Jack paused his typing to look down at his dog fondly. A small smile wormed its way through his annoyed expression and he took a second to scratch behind her ear, getting her tail to thump happily against the couch as he found her favorite spot.

Molly looked up at him with her big brown eyes and did that little smile (the ones that dogs tend to do), attempting to lick his hand the second he began to pull away. 

“Gross-” he laughed lightly, wiping the slobber off on the couch before shaking his head at her. “How’d I get so lucky with you, huh?” Jack mused happily, her eyes lighting up at the tone of his voice. He rubbed her neck affectionately, looking down at the 3 year old mutt he’d made a part of his family. “You’re so good to me, baby girl.”

She sneezed in reply and rolled over, shoving her head against his hip in order to wiggle her way into a more comfortable position to take a nap in. Jack snorted at the strange position (on her back, her front paws tucked tightly against her chest and her head lolled to the side) and turned back to the task at hand. 

The minute his eyes returned back to his computer screen, another groan pulled itself from his lungs and Jack could definitely feel a headache building behind his eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose, annoyance coming back tenfold, Jack tried to rephrase his question on Google for the fifteenth time, hoping that maybe,  _ maybe _ it would pull up a result he hadn’t already seen.

It didn’t.

Most of the results he had gotten in his many, many internet searches were incredibly unhelpful: yahoo answers left unsolved, forums with 6 comments all saying they had the same problem, and poorly designed manufacturing websites without any useful manuals whatsoever.

Jack sighed loudly.

A simple solution, of course, would be to turn the damn thing off, so then he wouldn’t be stuck hearing celebrity gossip that he honestly didn’t give two shits about but- He couldn’t.

Jack hated the quiet that filled his apartment whenever the radio was off, it was sticky and oppressive and let him sink way too deep into his own head to be healthy.

It was always easier to block out unwanted flashbacks when there was music playing in the background, it gave him something to focus on, something to grab ahold of and pull himself out of whatever backlog his mind had decided to try and work through. 

Silence always brought painful memories of something that happened years ago.

Jack let his head fall against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. 

Maybe it was the beginnings of his tension headache, maybe it was the LA heat finally getting to him or maybe it was just because Jack had nothing else to do but sit and listen to the same Doritos commercial for the  _ ump _ teenth time, but he started to think about things he hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge in a couple months. 

Two years had passed.

Two years ago, Jack had lived in a better apartment, had a better job, a better  _ life,  _ and possibly the most amazing person in the world to call his best friend. 

The man’s name was Gabriel Reyes and Jack had never fallen for someone so easily before.

  
\---  
  


Jack had just moved from Indiana to LA, ready to start his new life in a different city and in an amazing apartment that he’d somehow managed to get in his budget, a feat in of itself. It was a place he could see himself in for the long-term, something he’d never been able to experience before then, so it was safe to say he was  _ very _ excited.

After moving around the country for most of his childhood, Jack was beyond delighted to finally have an opportunity to settle down and (hopefully) make lasting friends for once in his life. Most of his life had been spent moving from around the country as his father changed job after job- He’d never really had a solid place to call home before now.

Jack had always been raised to always make good first impressions on others, and, on his first night there, decided to bake some cookies and knock on all the doors of his floor in order to introduce himself.  Most of the people who answered were old people, usually 50+ old ladies who relentlessly flirted and blatantly ignored the uncomfortably large age gap between the two of them, along with Jack’s obvious discomfort. Then there was one  _ very _ drunk man who took a whole bag of cookies without saying anything and immediately slammed the door in his face. The only people he found he enjoyed talking to was a single mother by the name of Ana Amari and her 5 year old daughter, Fareeha, who lived in apartment 305. The only other person on Jack’s floor that wasn’t old and/or drunk was his next door neighbor which was wonderful, except, well, the first time they met…..things didn’t start off that on the best footing.

Jack had gone through pretty much the entire floor by the time he made it to the last door, rather exhausted and wishing for sleep more than anything else at that point. He knocked softly on the final door, politely attempting to push down his desperate hope that no one was home. Unfortunately, after a couple seconds someone ripped the door open, snarling angrily at the startled blonde, who stood there, frozen in equal parts surprise and terror.

“What the  _ fuck  _ do you want?!” the guy snapped, glaring at Jack. 

“I- uh,” Jack started, struck dumb by both shock and the fact that the first thing he noticed was how  _ unfairly attractive  _ the man was. His brain quickly reminded him that this handsome stranger was being really fucking rude, so he checked himself and smiled politely, trying to salvage the situation. “I just moved in next door, and thought I would say come say hi and offer some cookies I made….” He trails off awkwardly as the man just stared at him incredulously, eyebrows raised.

Jack holds out a small bag filled with cookies as an offer to his next door neighbor. The guy looks at the outstretched hand for a long second before growling.

“I don’t want your goddamn cookies.” He snaps viciously, the force of his unprecedented anger forcing Jack to flinch back slightly. “Leave me the fuck alone, I got better things to do then talk to some hick  _ güero _ .”

With that, he slammed the door in Jack’s face, leaving the blonde standing outside without another word.

“....Hick?” Jack made a face at the closed door. His midwestern accent wasn’t even that bad, only noticeable when he got emotional or stressed. _The fuck what was that guy’s deal, anyway?_

Jack wasn’t aware he’d done anything to piss his neighbor off, so what the hell? He was pissed and offended, but a little part of him felt just the tiniest bit distressed that this handsome man hated him already.

_ It doesn’t matter,  _ He sighs wearily and heads back to his apartment.  _ Don’t get hung up over an asshole. _

He does anyway.

Thankfully, it turns out his neighbor isn’t as big an asshole as Jack had originally thought, since, the next day, the man comes over to apologize and Jack, always one for second chances, invites him in.

He learns the man’s name is Gabriel Reyes, learns he’s only a couple years old, learns he’s lived in the building for years- Conversation passes surprisingly easy for the two of them. 

That’s how it starts.

They became incredibly close after that, learning to play off of each other and how to be comfortable with another person again. Jack had never been all that stable in his life, mentally speaking. He’d had issues with taking care of his health or coping with his feelings when bad things happened for a very long time. When he’d met Gabe, though, he started wanting to be better, to be the best he could no matter what. Gabe was there for him during his anxiety attacks, brought him food when Jack didn’t have enough energy to go to the grocery store, let alone actually _cook_ something, forced him to drink water and distract himself and relax. 

He was the one to remind Jack to take his meds, to take care of his mind as much as his body. It wasn’t Gabe finding solutions for Jack’s issues, but more along the lines of Jack finally getting the support he needed to find it himself.

And Jack had to go and ruin it by falling in love.

Gabe meant everything to him. He would have given the entire world to this man if he’d asked. He would have given anything to him in an instant.

But Gabe never asked. And Jack never pushed him, his debilitating fear of losing Gabe far outweighing his desire for something more. He tried to convince himself that it would be worse to confess and have Gabe leave than just pining and only staying friends.

Jack loved him, though.

He loved him so wholly and completely that when Gabe left three years later it felt like someone had clawed their way into Jack’s chest and ripped out an integral part of his being. 

Gabe had left Jack behind, had left to go do greater things, to follow his dream of being a musician and Jack had never been happier for his best friend. He was supportive, never showed that his heart was breaking, that every time Gabe spoke about the future Jack had to fight back tears and a raw lump in his throat. He was a good best friend. 

He even drove Gabe to the airport, trying his hardest not to cry as he watched the man he loved, the man he  _ adored, _ walk through the terminal, to the plane taking him so far away that Jack could only dream of ever seeing him again. 

Right before he’d disappeared around the corner, Gabe had turned around and sprinted back to Jack, gathering the surprised man in a tight hug. He froze for a full second before returning the hug with everything he had, wrapping his arms around Gabe like he would never let go.

They pulled apart, Gabe grinning at him with all the blinding brightness of the sun and Jack couldn’t stop himself. 

“I’ll miss you.” he said, voice soft. 

“Hey, now.” Gabe smiled warmly. “It’s not like I’ll never talk to you again, Jack. You better call me sometime.”

He looked at Gabe and, despite the comforting words, realized that their friendship would never be the same long-distance. All of his inhibitions went straight out the window.

“Gabe, I love you.” he told him in one rushed breath, meaning every word, heart stuttering to a stop as he registered, too late, what he just said. 

Jack jerked away, clapping his hands over his mouth and staring, terrified, at Gabe.

Gabe wasn’t smiling anymore. 

He looked shocked, hadn’t moved an inch before Jack went and fucked everything up so utterly and completely that it could never be fixed.

Gabe opened his mouth to say something but, before he could get anything out, an voice came over the intercom, announcing the last call for boarding.

Jack felt tears well up in his eyes, his shoulders trembling under the weight of what he’d done.

Gabe stepped back, glancing over his shoulder at the flight attendant standing at the door.

“I-” he say, obviously uncomfortable. “I have to go.”

He stared at Jack for a second longer before turning away and quickly making his way to the terminal door. Jack stared at his retreating back and felt his entire body shudder in a pain that emanated from the center of his chest.

Gabe didn’t look back.

No matter how Jack tried to look at his actions and the consequences, he couldn’t make himself feel any better about what happened, and, despite his desperate battle to try and take Gabe’s rejection and departure well, nothing could stop Jack from breaking down on the drive home from the airport. 

He had to pull over onto the side of the road, flashing his hazards and pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. 

He forced himself to try and breathe normally but his racing mind soon turned him into a hyperventilating disaster, sobbing messily into his hands.

He didn’t know what to do. 

He’d lost his best friend to an impulsive decision and a distant city, the man he’d loved for years, and Jack had  _ no idea _ how to move forward. 

It took him an hour and 22 minutes to calm himself down enough to safely drive back to his apartment. He didn’t think about the empty room on the other side of his kitchen wall.

Frankly, he didn’t think about anything. He was numb, hadn’t cried in so long that actually acting on his emotions had drained him completely. 

Eventually, he makes it home, unlocking his front door with shaking hands, trying to avoid even looking at Gabe’s old apartment door and its obvious lack of a nameplate. 

Jack makes it to his bed and collapses in it tiredly, staring up at his ceiling blindly, not seeing anything but seeing too much at the same time. His whole body felt numb.

After god knows how long, the sound of his phone ringing echoed through the apartment.

Jack blinked, sitting up slowly and peering around the room.

_ When had it gotten so dark? _ He shook his head to dispel the sadness that laid deep in his bones (it didn’t work) and got off of the bed. He hadn’t even taken off his shoes.

He moves like a ghost into his kitchen, picking up his phone from the counter and answering it after a second, holding it up to his ear and taking a deep breath.

“Hello?” he tried, struggling to sound normal. He failed pretty terribly.

“Jack?” Ana sounded really concerned, Jack could see her worried frown, and he felt his shoulders fall in exhaustion. “What happened?! Are you okay?!”

“I’m just-” Jack’s voice broke as he tried to speak. “Gabe left today. I told him and he- he didn’t-”

“Oh," she breathes, understanding. "Are you home?” 

“Yeah.” he managed.

“Alright, I’m coming over then, okay? See you in a few.”

“Ana-” Jack tried to protest, not wanting to inconvenience her, but she’d already hung up at that point. It wasn’t like he could argue with her anyway, once Ana made up her mind there was nothing anyone could do to stop her.

He let out a harsh breath of air, dropping his head into his hands, the hard edge of his phone pressing into his skull uncomfortably, but Jack couldn’t even feel it.

He wishes he couldn't feel anything.

  
\--  
  


That had been a year ago.

Months of mind numbing sadness, letting his mental and emotional health go to absolute shit, losing interest in everything he used to love.

He stopped taking his meds, stopped eating regularly, got fired from his job for not putting enough effort into his work, he got really bad again. He didn’t go out anymore, barely left his apartment, not even to get food or other supplies. Every time Ana went to check on him, his apartment was dead silent, Jack’s voice becoming too quiet, too soft, almost as if he was afraid of speaking.

Ana tried to help, but it wasn’t the same, she wasn’t able to support him the way Gabe did.

He lost control of his life and couldn’t find it in himself to stop it from getting worse.

He didn’t have enough money to continue paying rent (since he didn’t have a job anymore), so he moved somewhere else and tried to start over again, tried to forget everything that happened. It didn’t work.

This was how he lived for four months.

Gabe never called.

Halfway through the fifth month Jack had been coerced into going to the bar with Ana, though she insisted she didn’t have any ulterior motives for bringing him, which Jack didn’t believe for a second. It was revealed pretty quickly that she did, in fact, have a reason for bringing him to the bar, and that reason was so he could find someone and hopefully get his thoughts off of Gabe.

Jack had half a mind to leave the minute he figured out her plan but she begged him to at least give it a chance, to try and have a little fun for the first time in a long while. He couldn’t argue with her there, she was right on target. He hadn’t really…. _ done _ anything since Gabe left, hadn’t even seen any other friends besides whenever Ana invited herself over to check on him.

So he agreed to stay but didn’t make any promises otherwise. He wasn’t quite up for dancing so he ordered a beer (he didn’t even like beer that much) and made his way to the nearest booth to sit down and people watch.

It didn’t take long for the loud music and chatter to get to him, his head starting to pound along with the beat and he wasn’t  _ nearly  _ drunk enough to try and talk to anyone.

He found Ana pretty quickly and pulled her aside, telling her he was heading home early, that the club was too much, too fast and that he needed a break.

She nodded, understanding and gave him a couple bucks for the ride home. He tried to refuse the money, but Ana insisted, saying that she was the one to bring him here in the first place, she should pay for at least some of his ride home.

A couple minutes later found Jack on the corner of the darkened street outside the club, waiting for a cab to come by and take him home.

There was a noise to his right and Jack paused, frowning at the dark lump in the shadow of a dumpster. It shifted slightly and Jack, against his better judgement, moved towards it curiously.

“Hello?” he called out, voice soft so he didn’t startle whatever it was that made up the mysterious lump. 

The dark shape moved again, eyes flashing in the streetlight as what Jack assumed was the head turned towards him. A low, stuttering growl emanated from the shadows and Jack slowed, realizing that it was an animal he was approaching. Thinking as quick as he could, Jack made himself as nonthreatening as possible, speaking again to the beast in a soothing voice.

“Hey, hey,” he called again, gentle in the moonlight, and the growl tapered off into a breathy whine. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise. I’m just gonna come closer and see if you need help, okay?”

An answer came in the form of another whine, this one much weaker than before.

Jack crept closer, the animal becoming more and more visible as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Before long, he was at the beast’s side, kneeling down and taking a closer look.

It was a mutt, dirty and shivering, with a large gash on its side and multiple bite marks on it’s body. It looked up at him with pleading eyes and Jack felt something break in his chest, an intense need to help this dog filling his whole body and all he could think to do was wrap his jacket around its shaking body and lift it up in his arms. He took it to the vet immediately, finding out that it was actually a she and that she had most likely gotten hurt by a territorial pack while she was wandering.

While she was recovering, Jack visited her whenever he could, going out of his way to bring her special treats and usually spending a couple hours with her.

He took her home with him as soon as he was allowed too, after her wounds had healed and she had gotten all of her shots.

Her name was Molly, and she was the reason Jack started trying to get better again.

Not long after he brought her back to his apartment he got a job as a helper in a local grocery store, so he would be able to afford Molly’s food. The owner was a sweet old widow by the name of Wendy, who was simply getting too old to do everything herself, which was where Jack came in. He helped with the heavy lifting, anything that required being on a ladder and all deli products while Wendy took care of the cash register and keeping the store pristine and beautiful.

The more time Jack spent at the grocery store, the happier his days became. Wendy was smart and witty, quite a joy to be around, and wasn’t afraid to call Jack on his bullshit either. Ultimately, though, she understood what Jack needed on the days when he felt so bad he hid himself away in the fridge, just so other people wouldn’t see him break down. Wendy always gave him water after he was feeling better, always gave him something to eat when he didn’t have the energy to make anything himself.

He genuinely enjoyed her company, made sure to make her job as easy as possible so she didn’t need to strain herself. Sometimes he even came in extra early just to surprise her, rushing around to get everything set up before she came in at 8 am.

Molly loved Wendy too, taking every opportunity to drag Jack by her store on all of her walks in order to get the treats the old woman always had ready for her.

He started to recognize regular customers, too, and they recognized him back. 

Polite “hellos” turned into questions about how they were doing turned into knowing important details about their lives turned into knowing which subjects to bring up and which to avoid for each customer. Jack made new friends, made a life for himself that he was becoming more and more happy with as time passed. 

He still thought about Gabe every day, still idly wondered how he was doing, still felt that bone deep ache for his best friend when he thought about it too hard, but he was getting better at ignoring it. 

He was happier than he had been in months and it felt  _ good,  _ he hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. 

He had a reason to get out of bed again. 

It was amazing. 

 

And then his radio broke.

The silence that came with turning the machine off reminded Jack too much of months spent buried deep in his own depression, so he never did for long. 

The pop songs, when they actually got played, weren’t even that bad generally. Jack liked a lot of them, actually. They were catchy, and obviously popular for a reason and he found no reason to unnecessarily hate a whole genre of music just because it was mainstream. 

A song about love or drugs or some other metaphor that Jack couldn’t quite figure out tapered off into the yabbering of the MCs. He tuned them out (it was getting easier to do that lately, which was nice) and scrolled through his Facebook feed absentmindedly. 

He catches something from the radio station about getting a lot of requests for a particular song, one from a new artist breaking into the scene, and though the guy’s music was more along the alternative vibe then pop, it was apparently still a good enough song for them to play on the station. 

Jack paid more attention to the radio after a minute or two, when the MCs finally stopped talking and actually started playing the song. 

The first strums of a guitar filtered through the speakers and Jack let his body relax into the couch.

The intro washed over him like a wave in a calm ocean and he closed his eyes, left hand finding it’s way to tangle in Molly’s soft golden fur as he listened. 

_ You are a gentle breeze in a field of flowers, _

Jack sits bolt upright, eyes impossibly wide as he registered the lyrics and, more specifically, the voice singing them. 

He knew that voice.

_ You are my one true source of power. _

_ Now I have to try and find someone new, _

_ But I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you. _

Molly looks up at Jack, nosing his trembling hand and whining worriedly. 

_ You are the sunshine through trees, _

_ your light will bring a warm summer breeze.  _

_ I’m sorry I could never be more, _

_ But you will always be the one that I adore.  _

Jack was shaking in his seat, his white knuckled grip on the arm of the couch tightening further as the chorus hit. 

_ I’ve never met someone like you, _

_ never felt so high on love too. _

_ I miss you everyday; _

_ I wish I could have stayed, _

_ I wish I could have stayed.  _

 

_ I’ll do what I can to make you happy, I swear, _

_ I want you to listen to my devoted prayer: _

_ It’s been a year since I left and began to roam, _

_ but I’ll always hope that you’ll let me come home. _

 

_ I promise you I’ll come home.  _

 

Jack felt like his whole world was coming crashing down around him.

It was Gabriel. That was Gabe's song- and it was about _him_.

Every wall Jack had built, every feeling he’d shoved deep down into his chest, everything burst out of him all at once, like a broken dam, and suddenly he was drowning.

He sat on the couch, tears rolling down his cheeks, not daring to move until he had heard every word of the song.

The sound of his voice after so long, the warmth that came with his song and hearing him after so long, it overwhelmed Jack completely. 

The guitar strummed its last note and the song was over as quickly as it had started, leaving Jack shell shocked and raw. 

Molly, sensing his distress, climbed up into his lap and licked at his cheeks, nuzzling his chin affectionately. Jack stared at her for a long second before pulling her furry body into a hug. She relaxed against his chest as he stroked her fur, the gentle rise and fall of her chest was comforting to Jack. The weight and warmth of a living creature on his chest helped him pull himself back from the edge of a very steep cliff, helped fend off the vicious ache spreading in his chest. 

Numbly, he unlocks his phone and pulls up his messages, finding Ana and typing in a quick message with shaking fingers. 

**Jack @ 12:47 pm**

ana i just heard gabe on the radio

**Ana @ 12:47 pm**

fuck

are you okay?????

**Jack @ 12:49 pm**

 

not really

**Ana @ 12:49 pm**

i’m on my way

coming from work so it’ll be a couple mins

call if u need anything ok?

 

Jack throws his phone onto the other side of the couch, closing his eyes and focusing instead on running his fingers through Molly’s fur, unable to stop the tears snaking tracks down his chin. He buried his head into Molly’s neck, letting out a harsh sob as his emotions hit him. 

He hadn’t expected this to happen, didn’t even think that if Gabe achieved his dream of being a musician like the both of them had wanted, that Jack would have to be confronted with songs and pictures and news articles of the man he’d loved and lost a year ago. 

The constant ache in his chest he’d long learned to live with was rearing it’s ugly head and eating Jack from the inside out. 

He thought he was getting better.

He had gotten a new life, new friends and found a happiness he hadn’t experienced in a long time, but it obviously hadn’t mattered as much as he’d thought.

He was breaking apart again, faster and harder than he thought possible.

Jack curled into himself, pulling away from the world to make himself as small as possible. Molly whined.

She licked the top of his head, causing his blonde hair to stick up in every direction. Jack wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her close, feeling her heartbeat against his chest as she nuzzled closer, pushing her own head into the crook of his neck.

“I miss him so much, Molly,” Jack whispered into her fur, voice quiet and broken. “So goddamn much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be a 5 chaptered fic, rn it's around 22k words so yehaw  
> everything is written out already but i just gotta add finishing touches blah blah all that jazz  
> hope u like it!!!!  
> find me at caviteens.tumblr.com if you wanna talk r76 or smthn idk i'm lonely


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vague mental health stuff in here, nothing too big  
> more of an introduction to gabe than anything else, which is why its so short  
> shit starts happening next chapter

Gabriel Reyes was supposed to be happy.

He had scored a deal with a world-famous label, his songs were on the radio and the sales for his recently released debut album were exponentially higher than he’d ever thought possible.

He had worked for _years_ , since 7th grade in junior high, and was finally, _finally_ on the cusp of achieving his long time dream to be a real musician.

And he was almost there, so close to getting what he’d been reaching for that it was almost overwhelming to think about how far he had come.

He’d grown up in a shitty part of L.A., his Mamá working her ass off every day just to be able to put food on the table for her five children. Gabe was the child in the middle, two younger sisters and two older brothers, all who he loved and cared for deeply.

His Papá had died when Gabe was very young, so he never really had any memories of the man, but his mother had always spoken of him fondly, telling Gabe and his siblings stories of their time together and the things Papá had done during his lifetime.

He was in awe of how much his Mamá loved this man he’d only ever heard of, even after so many years of being apart. Gabe was 14 when he heard his favorite story for the first time, of his Mamá falling into the ocean and his Papá diving in after her, carrying her back to shore in his arms and the two of them collapsing on the beach in exhaustion. It was then, she tells them, in the warm summer sun, bodies still wet from the salty waves, that the two of them shared their first kiss. All of his siblings had groaned at that part, telling Mamá that it was gross, didn’t she know anything about the dangers of getting cooties?!

His Mamá had just laughed and shooed them off to bed, tucking them in and kissing each of them goodnight. Gabe was the only one who stayed back in the kitchen, waiting for her to finish saying goodnight to his younger siblings so they could talk.

After a few minutes she returns, humming an old Spanish lullaby, the one his sister Isabella loved so much, and picking up the well used broom to start cleaning up the house. Gabe, shaking off his Mamá’s quiet protests of not needing help, grabs a towel and starts wiping down the surfaces of their tiny kitchen.

They work in silence for a couple minutes before Gabe slows his hand, straightening up to peer curiously at his Mamá. After a second, she looks back at him, tilting her head slightly, as if to ask what he wanted.

“Mamá,” he starts, voice soft in the too quiet house, choosing his words carefully. “What was Papá like?”

She raises her eyebrows, surprised by the question.

“ _Gabi_ ,” she speaks in Spanish, smiling. “ _I’ve told you many stories about him._ ”

Gabe shakes his head and tries again.

“You’ve told me what he’s _done_ , but I want to know more about him, about who he was as a person.”

For a long second, his Mamá is silent, an intense look in her eyes as she watches Gabe fidget with the towel in his hand.

“ _He was kind_.” she speaks slowly, softly, as if she didn’t quite know how to answer the question just yet. “ _He was smart and funny, a real good time at parties. Everyone who met him loved him immediately, and I was no exception.”_ She laughs, a bittersweet sound as she recalls memories of her husband. “ _He knew how to make anyone laugh, could tell the best jokes with the punchline perfectly delivered every time.”_

She went back to sweeping the floor, since she still needed to get the apartment clean, but didn’t stop talking yet.

 _“He was handsome, too, a real looker.”_ She laughs and looks up at him, eyes warm and twinkling in the dim light of their kitchen lamp. _“You look so much like him,_ mijo _, you’re definitely going to grow up to be as handsome as he was, just you watch.”_

“You act like I’m not already the handsomest 14 year old in the world.” Gabe scoffs playfully, flashing his mamá a quick grin. She laughs again.

 _“Of course you are, Gabí.”_ She nods, a smile tugging at her lips.

The two of them go back to cleaning for a couple more minutes, content in the comfortable silence that comes with his brothers and sisters going to bed for the night.

“You loved him a lot, right?” Gabe asked after another minute or so, glancing at his mamá but not slowing in his work.

She nods.

_“More than I could ever explain.”_

“How did you know?”

His mamá thought about the question for a minute before replying.

_“It hit me very suddenly and all at once, but it also took a very long time to get to where it needed to go.”_

Gabe sent her a confused look and she frowned, racking her brain for another way to explain such an unexplainable thing.

 _“Being in love was like….”_ She thinks for a little longer. _“It was like looking at someone and feeling so many things in your chest that it almost hurts to breathe, that’s what love is like. It’s like feeling the sun on your skin after years and years of cold breezes and rain. Sometimes you fight with the sun, and the clouds return again. Sometimes the rain comes back and you don’t even_ want _to see the sun again, but at the same time you can’t even stand the thought of losing them.”_

She gets a sad look on her face and Gabe feels his chest tighten at her expression.

“Mamá…” he reaches out to her, wrapping his arms around her small shoulders and holding her close to him.

“ _It’s okay, Gabí.”_ She pulls away after a couple long seconds and looks up at him with an unwavering gaze. _“I may miss him every day, but I’ve learned how to live without him during these years.”_

He nods, swallowing thickly.

 _“Can you make me a promise, Gabí?”_ She asks him, a pleading tone under her words, surprising Gabe enough to nod again without hesitation.

“Of course, Mamá.”

_“One day you’ll realize that you love someone very much, and you’ll have to figure out where to go from there. Promise me that, no matter how scared you are, no matter how nervous you feel, you won’t run away from them, ok?”_

Gabe opens his mouth to say something but quickly shuts it, rolling his words around in his mouth before discarding them.

“I promise you, Mamá.” he says, voice quiet but sure.

She relaxes, letting out a relieved breath at his words.

 _“Good,_ mijo _.”_ She nods at him, going back to sweeping the floor once again. _“Make me proud and don’t let your sun hide behind clouds for too long.”_ She pauses, smiling slyly at him. _“Your mamá wants grandchildren, don’t forget.”_

“Mamá!” Gabe groans loudly, turning red.

She just laughs and keeps sweeping the floor, this time with a small smile gracing her expression.

\---

Gabe frowns at the memory from so long ago, he hadn’t thought of that moment in a while and thinking of it now made him feel a little sick.

His Mamá had died only a couple years ago, when he was 25 years old and still under the unconscious impression that his Mamá would get past anything life threw at her. It’d been a shock to everyone, as she’d always been such a strong figure in so many people’s lives, always putting on a brave face for others while also taking care of her numerous kids as a single mother for so long. Of all his siblings, Gabe had been the closest to her and, despite her dismissal of the accusations from his siblings, he was clearly the favorite.

He’d call her every week or so, always on a Saturday, and would drive during rush hour, fighting against LA traffic in a second if she had needed something.

She was the one who taught him how to cook family recipes and traditional Mexican food for the holidays, the one who taught him how to be polite and respectful to everyone, how to treat people he loved in the right way.

She showed him what honest, true love looked like and he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Her death destroyed him.

It had come so suddenly, taking his Mamá from him in a matter of minutes, a quiet heart attack in the kitchen of the same home she had raised her kids at. A neighbor had come by to bring her groceries from the store and found her the next morning, hand still clutching at the small cross she’d always kept around her neck.

The funeral had been filled to the brim with family and friends and neighbors and people he hadn’t even recognized, all of them here to pay their respects to the woman who’d been a constant in their community for years.

Gabe spoke, of course. His siblings had all agreed, for the first time in years, that he was the one who should give the speech since he had been the closest to her throughout his childhood and up until she passed away.

He’d barely made it through, trying to fight back tears through the whole thing, and ultimately failing pretty terribly, having to leave for the bathroom after speaking in order to compose himself.

After the funeral, Gabe fell into a silent depression that ate up his entire life, losing contact with his friends and only really leaving his apartment to work or get food.

His only friend at that point was a woman who lived down the hallway from him, Ana Amari and her daughter Fareeha, both of them too stubborn to let him push the two of them away.

Gabe could never say no to Fareeha anyway, she was much too good at making Gabe laugh for him to let her go. Ana was his rock, though. For a long time, she was the one to drag him out of the house and get him to laugh and have a good time and feel _alive_ again.

And then Jack Morrison moved in next door to him, knocked on his door and still offered cookies despite having just been snapped at by Gabe a couple seconds before.

He’d been forced to take a longer look at the man in front of him, he’d noticed that the blonde white boy on his doorstep was only a couple years younger than him and had the most startlingly blue eyes he’d probably ever seen. Gabe was instantly sorry for snapping at the man, though, instead of apologizing like he should have, he acted like a fucking asshole and closed the door in the blonde’s face rather rudely.

Gabe stomped away and flopped on his couch tiredly, regretting his actions within the minute it took for him to get there and turn on the TV. Why’d he do that, anyway? He wasn’t usually that rude to strangers, especially not pretty boys who’d moved next door.

Wait, _what?_ Gabe sat up suddenly, staring at the TV screen with a frown. Did he just call that other man _pretty?_

It didn’t help that he went over to apologize the next day, reading the nameplate that told him his new neighbor’s name was Jack and, after trying to gather courage for five minutes, finally knocked on the door.

The man- _Jack_ , he reminded himself- opened the door after only a short wait, looking surprised when he saw Gabe standing there.

“Hey, so, uh,” Gabe started, awkwardly scratching the back of his head as he tried to apologize without looking like an idiot or worse, even _more_ of an asshole. “I wanted to, uh, apologize for being rude yesterday...I was in a bad mood and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” He looks away, nervous that Jack would reject his apology.

“Oh,” the other man breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.”

A smile lights up his face and Gabe finds it suddenly very hard to swallow.

“At least you weren’t a 50 year old woman trying to get into my pants.” he laughs quietly. “Thanks for apologizing, though. Not a lot of people do it enough, so I appreciate it.” He steps aside, gesturing to the rest of his apartment. “You’re welcome to come inside, I still have the cookies from yesterday if you want them.”

Gabe laughs, flashing a grin at Jack. “Me? Say no to food? Not in a million years.”

He follows Jack to the kitchen, observing the small amount of cardboard boxes and furniture. The kitchen in Jack’s apartment was a little smaller than his own but, besides that, their rooms were pretty much mirror images.

“I didn’t get the chance to ask, but what’s your name?” Jack hands Gabe a small package of chocolate chip cookies, looking at him with a curious look in his eyes.

“The name’s Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe if you want.” He sticks his hand out to shake. “You’re Jack, right? Think I saw it on the nameplate beside your door.”

Jack takes his hand, palm warm in Gabe’s own, and laughs.

“That’s me. Nice to meet you Gabe.”

“Likewise.”

Gabe almost doesn’t let go of Jack’s hand, thinking that it felt way too nice to want to drop the contact, but he forces himself to anyway, before it gets weird.

Jack moves to the other side of the kitchen, asking Gabe some questions about who he was, what he liked to do, all that kind of getting-to-know-you crap, except Gabe didn’t really mind this time. The blonde asked questions he tended to not expect and he found he liked knowing more about Jack.

He was smart and quick, laughing at Gabe’s sarcastic dry humor and made a lot of his own jokes that made Gabe snort unattractively, effectively making the atmosphere of the kitchen a lot more comfortable than being alone in a room with a stranger should probably feel.

It was nice, to say the least.

Gabe laughed more during the couple of hours he spent sitting in Jack’s kitchen than he had for a very long time. When he finally had to say goodbye to the other man, he’d felt lighter than usual, couldn’t stop looking forward to the next time he would be able to see Jack again.

It took a couple months before Gabe figured it out.

He was halfway asleep, drifting off to the sounds coming through his open window when he got a text.

His phone chimed loudly from his nightstand and Gabe cracked an eye open to glare at the device for a long second, before sighing loudly. He reached out, grabbing it off the table and checking who the fuck had texted him at 3 in the morning.

 

**From: Jack @ 3:14am**

gabe which one for my profile pic

 

Gabe rolled his eyes. Of course it was Jack, and of course it was about something as dumb as social media. He opened the text anyway.

Jack had gone back to help his siblings with their family farm for a month or so, leaving LA for the cornfields of Indiana and, subsequently, left Gabe by himself. It’d been only one or two weeks now, but Gabe still missed seeing him all the time. He couldn’t help it, Jack was really great to be around, he made Gabe smile and laugh, made him happy when nothing else worked.

He’d spent more time with Ana and Fareeha in the meantime, even getting to babysit the 6 year old girl when Ana was working late. He was actually really good at dealing with her various shenanigans, a fact that seemed to surprise everyone who knew him even a little bit.

The brightness of his phone made Gabe wince as he pulled up the conversation.

Jack had sent two pictures after the initial message and Gabe peered at the first one curiously.

It was a picture of Jack, holding a chicken of all things, smiling into the camera with one hand holding his hat in place against the wind, the other gently tucking a brown hen under his arm. He’d obviously been outside a lot these past weeks, the redness of his cheeks showing that plainly in the sun, the picture also revealing that Jack’s freckles had gotten a lot more pronounced with all the time he’d spent working in the fields.

Gabe couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he studied the picture Jack had sent. _He’s so fucking cute._

Gabe frowned at his own thoughts. Jack was just his friend, right? He didn’t-

Did he?

The emotions he’d connected to Jack, all the happiness and warmth and care he felt for the other man, hit him at full force and suddenly everything made a lot more sense.

“ _Fuck._ ” Gabe hissed to his dark room, feeling his heart pound in his chest. “I have a fucking _crush_ on a white boy.”

Before he could even so much as _think_ about how this was going to affect him, his phone dinged again, snapping Gabe out his brain and back to real time. Jack had texted him again, this time being whiny and annoying.

 

**From: Jack @ 3:17 am**

gaaaaaabe i know ur up answer me

 

**From: Jack @ 3:17 am**

if ur asleep i’m gonna b pissed u ass

 

**From: Jack @ 3:17 am**

gabe pls i wanna knowwwwww

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:18 am**

fuck off i’m getting to it

 

Gabe sighed, pushing his frazzled thoughts to the side so he could get Jack to stop bothering him.

The second picture loaded onto his screen and Gabe’s eyes widened in surprise. It was a simple picture of just the two of them, a selfie that Jack had taken at a goddamn farmer’s market he’d somehow managed to drag a loudly complaining Gabe to. In the picture though, both of them were laughing happily (which Gabe never did in photos), some flower cart they were standing in front of making a colorful background behind their heads. Jack’s arm was slung around Gabe’s shoulders, his other arm disappearing behind the phone to take the actual picture itself, and he looked so happy. He was absolutely _beautiful_ in the shitty cell phone selfie he’d taken with hands shaking from laughter.

Gabe remembered that moment, thought of it fondly whenever he was reminded of that day. Jack had gotten him to smile by telling a terrible pun about vegetables or something equally as dumb, which he _knew_ was Gabe’s ultimate weakness, and pressing the camera button at exactly the right time to catch his laughter.

It was a dirty trick, and Gabe had immediately punched his shoulder when he saw that a picture had been taken, but it obviously worked.

It was really cute.

Jack had been so excited when he saw the result on his camera roll, grinning widely at Gabe and telling him that he was going to keep it forever and never show Gabe ‘cause he knew that the other man had a track record of deleting photos he didn’t like off of Jack’s phone without telling him.

Gabe hadn’t seen the photo before this moment and he felt a warmth grow in his chest just from finally being able to look at the picture Jack had held so close for such a long time. He could tell why Jack had wanted to keep it.

He realized he was smiling like an idiot and rolled onto his back, huffing out an annoyed breath at himself.

“Why couldn’t I have this happen in the morning?” he asked the ceiling, exasperated. “It’s 3 am, shouldn’t I be sleeping or something, instead of lying in bed and having an existential crisis over my next door neighbor?”

Of course, he didn’t get a reply, so he turned back to his phone and, after a second’s consideration, saved both photos to his camera roll.

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:24 am**

i like the 2nd one the best

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:24 am**

the guy with the beanie is obviously what makes the pic, idk ab that white boy tho

 

**From: Jack @ 3:25 am**

the fuck u lying for we all know that i’m the pretty one in this relationship

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:26 am**

u may b pretty but that doesn’t make u better than me

 

**From: Jack @ 3:27 am**

u think i’m pretty? aw gabe ur sweet

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:28 am**

eh ur ok i guess

 

**From: Jack @ 3:29**

take that back bitch i’ll never make u cookies again i swear on my mothers grave

 

**From: Gabe @ 3:30**

jack u don’t even like ur mom...try again

 

Safe to say that Gabe didn’t go to sleep for awhile after that.

It doesn’t matter though, not to him, he got to talk to Jack, even if it’s just over text, and he’s more than willing to stay up for that. Not that he would _ever_ admit it to anyone.

He’ll deal with feelings and revelations in the morning.

For now, Gabe has better things to do with his time.

\---  
  


Months passed and, no matter how hard Gabe tried to will it away, his feelings for Jack never stopped growing more and more each day.

His crush quickly turned into a longing for something more, which, in turn, brought about a new revelation: that he, Gabriel Reyes, resident asshole, had fallen wholly in love with his best friend.

He _wanted_ Jack, more than anything he’d ever felt before, wanted him to be happy and smiling and _his_. He wanted to do dumb sappy shit with him, wanted to take him on dates and kiss him in the rain and hold hands when no one was looking. He wanted to study Jack’s features, to engrave them in his memory forever, and not have to glance away if he was caught staring. He wanted to tell his family about his _boyfriend_ and have them meet during the holidays. He knew in his heart that his siblings would absolutely love Jack, and they already knew that Gabe was bi, so that wouldn’t be a problem, though nothing would stop them from relentlessly teasing Gabe about liking a white boy.

Basically, Gabe was absolutely and utterly _fucked._

He would give Jack everything he could in an instant, wouldn’t hesitate for a second to give all he had.

On the nights when Gabe felt like he couldn’t handle the shit life was throwing at him, Jack was there, making him food and putting on one of the telenovelas Gabe had recorded in order to distract him. Sometimes Jack would talk to him, telling Gabe about his day, how many dogs he saw on the way to work that morning, whatever he could think of to pull Gabe out of his own thoughts. Sometimes they didn’t talk at all, Jack setting some water in front of him and just….sit next to him in a comfortable silence, trusting Gabe to speak up when he was ready.

No one read him like Jack did, no one knew him well enough to figure out exactly what he needs to feel better in seconds.

In return, Gabe was there for Jack when _he_ needed something, whether it be company or a reminder to eat and take his meds.

He didn’t know a lot about Jack’s past, he never liked to talk about it for long, except for the one time where Jack was drunk and slurred his way through parts of his childhood.

The things Jack told him that night broke Gabe’s heart, but also made him appreciate his best friend that much more. He told Jack as much the next day.

The blonde had been embarrassed about the night before, remembering enough to know that he drank _way_ too much and told Gabe a lot of personal details he hadn’t been ready to confront about himself yet. He was five minutes into a frazzled apology when Gabe cut him off.

“Jack, shut up.”

The blonde’s head jerked up to stare at Gabe in surprise, not expecting the harsh response from him. “You’ve been through a lot of shit that you’ve bottled up inside you over the years, it was only a matter of time before you the pressure got to you anyway. So don’t apologize, ok?”

Gabe gave him a pointed look as Jack opened his mouth to protest, before continuing.

“You’re my best friend, Jack. You telling me these things I hadn’t known before, even if you think it was a mistake to talk about...I know it’s tough but you gotta know that it only helps me understand you better.”

Gabe meets Jack’s wide eyed stare with confidence.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Jack, okay? You don’t need to apologize for shitty things that happened in your past because it _isn’t your fault_. Besides,” Gabe pushed himself off the counter and caught Jack’s face between his hands, keeping the blonde from avoiding his eyes. “You can’t go back and change anything anyway. What happened in the past already happened and all you can do now is move forward. I know you feel tired and like the whole world is weighing you down and you’re trying to climb a mountain without anyone that cares enough to help but that’s not true.”

Gabe smiles softly at the man in front of him.

“You still got me, right? I’m gonna be here, I’m gonna help you climb this mountain and I _know_ that you can do it, Jack, I _know_ , so you just have to believe in me _and_ in yourself, ok?”

There was a long stretch of silence as Jack processed what he’d just said, all sorts of emotions flashing across his face, from confusion to surprise to disbelief to something that looked a lot like adoration (which Gabe quickly dismissed as his imagination), the look in his bright blue eyes so raw that it broke Gabe’s heart just watching him.

“Was that too much?” he frowned nervously at Jack’s stunned silence, suddenly embarrassed and dropping his hands from either side of Jack’s face and stepping back.

That kicked Jack into action and he lunged forward, practically tackling Gabe in the tightest hug he’d ever given and burying his face into the crook of Gabe’s neck.

Gabe froze for a second before relaxing and wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders, which he quickly realized were shaking.

 _Oh_ , Gabe thought, surprised. _He’s crying._

Before he could convince himself not to, he began rubbing soft circles into the other man’s lower back comfortingly, lifting one of his hands to the back of Jack’s head and threading his fingers through blonde hair.

His hair was soft _,_ softer than he’d even imagined, the thought crossing his mind idly as he rubbed the back of Jack’s neck with his thumb.

In his arms, Jack had grabbed onto Gabe’s hoodie with white knuckles, his whole body beginning to tremble as harsh sobs racked his body.

They stood like that for a long time, Gabe’s hands warm and steady as he spoke Spanish softly in an effort to soothe. The words tumbling from his lips were embarrassing, to say the least, going on and on about all the things he was too scared to tell Jack in English, about how much he adored the blonde, about his willingness to give him anything and everything, about how badly he wanted to show Jack that he was _loved_.

Eventually, as Jack’s tears slowed and his trembling faded away to only the occasional shiver, Gabe pulled away just enough to study Jack’s face, finding the blonde’s eyes red rimmed and cheeks wet as expected but was completely caught off guard by the softest of smiles gracing his lips.

Gabe had never wanted to kiss him more as he did in that moment.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Jack looked down, smile turning embarrassed.

“Sorry for your hoodie…” he mumbled, causing Gabe to look down and see the mess that Jack had made of his shoulder, snorting loudly at the sight and shaking his head.

“I needed to wash this piece of shit anyway. Fareeha managed to spill soup all over it when she was sick, so this isn’t even the worst it’s been through.”

Jack cracked a smile at Gabe’s words and huffed good naturedly.

“You wanna watch some _Eva Luna_?”

Jack brightens up immediately, nodding in excitement.

“Please,” he grins. “I still don’t know if El Gallo managed to kill Tony or not.”

Gabe laughs and moves to go to the living room but, before he makes it out of the kitchen, Jack calls his name in a soft voice. Gabe pauses in the doorway, glancing back at Jack with a questioning look.

“I just wanted to say…..” Jack trails off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Thank you. For what you said. It, uh- It means a lot.”

Gabe raises his eyebrows before chuckling at Jack’s awkwardness at the situation.

“I meant all of it.” he smiles, turning and walking into the living room to turn on the TV, calling over his shoulder. “But if anyone asks, you better make sure you don’t ruin my Strong Badass Type image, got it?”

“Please,” Jack snorts and joins him on the couch, cracking a grin. “Everyone knows you’re secretly a huge sap on the inside.”

Gabe fends hurt, hand coming up to his chest in mock offense.

“Jack Morrison, I’m offended! My cold dead heart beats for no one.”

Jack raises his eyebrows pointedly.

“Except for that old lady I help cross the street.” he amends. “And Fareeha. And my family. And single mothers. And all animals except for frogs. I hate frogs.”

Jack snorts at that, relaxing into the couch and watches Gabe boot up the computer and hook it up to the screen so they could watch the telenovela they were half way through.

“Oh,” Gabe sticks his head behind the screen to plug the right cable into the right place, voice slightly muffled. “And occasionally I’ll find a pretty next door neighbor to be nice too.”

Jack smiles softly, though Gabe doesn’t see it from behind the TV.

“Yeah? Who’s that?” He teases lightly.

Gabe stands up straight again, the screen flickering to life.

“Uh, duh _,_ Mrs. Hagstoon, who else?”

Jack cracks up, shoulders shaking for an entirely different reason than earlier.

“Gabe, Mrs. Hagstoon _hates_ you.”

He scoots over, allowing Gabe enough room to flop down on the couch, getting comfortable.

“Our love is a forbidden secret. She only acts that way to hide how she truly feels. Also she’s rich as fuck, so that helps me deal with her terrible personality.”

Jack chuckles, stretching his legs across Gabe’s lap and grinning.

“I’ll come to your wedding.” He jokes. “You, Mrs. Hagstoon, and all 24 of her cats.”

It’s Gabe’s turn to laugh this time, shifting Jack’s legs into a more comfortable position for the both of them.

“I don’t know if I could _marry_ her.” Gabe muses lightly, pulling up the episode they’d left off on and making it full screen. “I think the cats would be too much. Plus, there’s this white boy on the other side of my apartment. He seems like less of a dick. He’s a lot younger too, less wrinkly. I think his name is Joe? Jeffery? Something like that.”

“Shut up, you love me.” Jack laughs, digging his heel into Gabe’s thigh in retaliation.

“Ow!” Gabe swats at his calf lightly. “I won’t for much longer if you keep this up, asshole.”

Jack quiets down after a minute and Gabe starts the episode, which quickly catching the blonde’s full attention.

Gabe, however, uses the distraction to study Jack’s profile, eyes tracing the planes of his face in detail

He thought about what it would be like to actually get the courage to ask Jack out, to love him fully and openly and his chest tightened.

He’d like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still unbeta-d  
> im tired  
> find me at caviteens.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen and Gabe makes a decision.  
> continuing from his POV

“Your song was on the radio.” 

Ana spoke up before Gabe could even say hello into the phone. 

“Really?” His eyebrows raised in surprise, he hadn’t known his stuff had made it out to LA yet.

“Yes.” her voice was clipped and cold, causing Gabe to frown.

It was nice that Ana was calling, he hadn’t talked to her in a month and a half, but he was curious about the reason

“Ana,” he asked slowly. “You’re avoiding something.”

There was a long stretch of silence, and, before Gabe could check if she had hung up on him, Ana answered his question.

“Jack texted me yesterday.” Her voice over the phone was quiet, no emotion revealed through the connection, but Gabe knew her well enough to tell that there was a lot of  _ something _ behind her carefully measured tone. He just didn’t know what.

“....Yeah?” Gabe was careful to keep his voice even. He and Ana had never discussed Jack after what happened in the airport, always dancing around the subject, never actually talking about it.

“He heard it.”

Gabe felt his stomach sink at her words. A couple of his songs had gotten popular recently, but Gabe had a feeling he knew exactly which song Jack had heard. 

“Jesus.” he breathed, suddenly finding it hard to stay steady on his feet. He sat down on the floor slowly, mind reeling as he processed everything that came with that specific song, all the feelings he’d pushed down, all the hurt and regret and anger and  _ pain _ he’d felt over the past year, all of it wrapped up into one neatly packaged box for Jack to find.

He’d never actually considered Jack actually  _ hearing  _ the song (though he definitely should have), he knew Jack never really liked the radio enough to listen to it enough to catch one of his songs. 

“He’s a mess, Gabe,” Ana’s voice was softer now, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I haven’t been able to get him to leave his apartment. He hasn’t eaten any food since, refuses to touch anything I put in front of him. He’s barely even talking to me, Gabe, I’m really worried.”

Gabe dropped his head into the hand not holding the phone to his ear. He ignored the fact that he was trembling and closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the empty apartment around him.

“I-” he starts, how own voice seeming too quiet to be normal. “I don’t know what you want me to do-”

“Bullshit!” Ana cuts him off viciously, showing the first signs of fierce anger. “You know  _ exactly  _ what you need to do right now, Gabriel, don’t lie to me  _ or _ yourself.”

“Ana-” he tries again, an ache spreading in his chest at the thought of facing Jack again.

“No, Gabe, you listen to me and you better do it carefully because Jack is  _ hurting _ right now, you understand? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him get this bad before, and I never want to see anything like this again, and you are going to find a way to fix this or I swear to God, I will find you and kill you myself, got it?”

Gabe doesn’t speak, not knowing what to say and fearing that, if he did open his mouth, he would do something wrong or make it worse.

Ana sighs wearily and Gabe can almost see the way she falls into the old habit of pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“You love him, don’t you?” she sounds like she already knows the answer, and Gabe almost doesn’t want to respond, knowing that he’ll only dig himself into a deeper hole. He does anyway, voice hoarse.

“Yeah.” 

“Then prove it.” She pauses, voice softer when she continues. “Don’t run away from this again, Gabe. You hurt him and he needs you right now. If you really love him, you’ll know what to do to fix this.”

Gabe nods, more to himself than anyone else, turning her words over in his head.

“Okay,” he says weakly, after a brief moment, before repeating himself, stronger the second time. “Okay.”

Ana lets out a relieved breath. Some noises filter through the phone line from Ana’s line and Gabe can vaguely hear someone speaking softly.

“I’ll be right there, Jack, gimme a second.” Ana says, her voice gentle and quieter too, as she’d pulled away from the phone to speak to the other man. Gabe’s heart sinks at the change of tone in Ana’s voice, her words gentle and soothing instead of how she was speaking a minute ago to him. He hears what he assumes is Jack replying to her and Ana comes back to finish the call with Gabe.

“I have to go, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“That’s fine.” Gabe nods. “Text me when you’re free.” 

He’s about to hang up when he hears Ana speak again.

“Oh, and Gabe?” 

“....Yeah?” 

“Try your hardest to make things better, alright? You owe him that much.”

Before he could say anything in reply, the line went dead, leaving Gabe alone with his thoughts.

“How am I supposed to fix this?” he asks the quiet room. “I don’t know what to do.”

Silence was his only reply. 

  
  


\----(Three Days Later)----

  
  


“What do you mean you aren’t going to let me go?” Gabe snarls, eyes flashing as he stares down his manager angrily. 

The man doesn’t flinch, meeting Gabe’s glare with a bored look on his face. 

“Mr. Reyes,” the guy sighed wearily. “You’re album  _ just  _ hit the charts a month ago. You need to be here, in New York. You have interviews to do, important people to talk to, fans to meet and a public to win over. You can’t go to LA and expect to come back right where you left off.”

Gabe growled, crossing his arms and leaning back into the office chair. As much as he appreciated the label for getting him this far in his career, Talon was terrible to work with. Everytime he wanted to do anything that didn’t line up with their previously decided plan they pulled this shit and it pissed him off. 

He just wanted to go back, wanted to see Jack and hopefully make things better, but Talon wasn’t having any of it. He’d even lied and told them it was a family emergency, instead of his real plan, and they still refused his request. 

“What about a concert?” Gabe sat forward suddenly, an idea hitting him. “If I do a pop-up concert in LA, meet some fans, get my name out, all that shit, would you agree to that instead?”

His manager raised an eyebrow, before flipping through some papers on his desk and nodding to himself. 

“I’ll consider it.” He said finally, looking back up at Gabe calculatingly. “I will run it by some people and let you know accordingly.”

Gabe sighed and stood up, making to leave the room when his manager spoke up again. 

“Oh, and Gabriel? I recommend that you... _ behave _ for the next couple of days.” 

Gabe growled under his breath, forcing himself to not reply, and left the room with his blood boiling. 

God he hated that guy. 

He threw his hoodie over his head, putting on sunglasses before leaving the building in a huff. 

He was waving down a taxi when his phone rang, the ringtone loud and obnoxious, even muffled through his pocket. Not bothering to check the caller ID, he picked up just as a taxi pulled closer to let him in. 

“What do you want?” Gabe snapped, climbing into the back seat and telling the cabbie his address. 

“Well hello to ya too, partner.” a familiar drawl sounded through the line and Gabe rolled his eyes. “Somethin’ got your goat today?”

“What-” Gabe frowns at the strange phrase, thoroughly confused. “What did you just say to me?”

Jesse sighs loudly, as if what he said was common knowledge and not some dumbass cowboy code or some shit like that. 

“I was askin’ what you were pissed about,  _ duh. _ ”

“Don’t  _ duh  _ me, Jesse, I’ll kick your ass. You can’t say dumb shit like that and expect me to know what the hell it means.”

The kid just laughs and Gabe could only sigh i exasperation. Jesse quickly gets serious, though, his voice leaving no room for Gabe to weasel out of the situation.

“Don’ avoid my question, Gabe. What’s botherin’ ya?”

A long silence is all Gabe gives while he decides what to say that won’t make him look like an ass. 

“I talked to Talon about letting me go back to LA.” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They said no, of course, but I gave them a reason to think about it, which gives me a chance.”

Jesse is quiet for a couple seconds, processing Gabe’s words before replying.

“Isn’t LA where-”

“Yeah.” Gabe cuts him off tiredly, his voice without any bite.

“Oh.” 

“I’ll tell you later, okay? I...I need some time to think.”

“I’ll be waitin’ at home. See ya.”

“Talk to you soon.”

He hangs up with a sigh, leaning back into the seat of the taxi and watching the buildings pass outside of the window, thinking about the cowboy idly. 

Jesse and Gabe had met when he’d only been living in New York for under a month, running into a young boy who’d started off as a random kid living in the streets that Gabe always found at bad times to someone that Gabe cared for deeply, taking on the role of an almost father figure to the teen. They’d ‘met’ briefly a couple times before Gabe had turned a street corner and walked in on a group of teens trying to kick Jesse’s ass. The cowboy had held his own pretty well but was soon overwhelmed and outnumbered. 

Gabe, who hated when people ganged up against someone in a fight, quickly stepped in and terrified the shit out of the bullies, scaring them away with intimidation and quick reflexes alone. 

Once they were gone, he’d gone to check on the kid, who had collapsed on to the ground and leaned tiredly against the brick wall, bloody and hurt. He snarled at Gabe defensively, and claimed that he’d “had it covered” and “didn’t need any help.”

Gabe had just laughed at that and, liking the kid’s fiery attitude, offered him a simple decision: Either he could continue to live on the streets for the rest of his life and run the risk of being found by the police- or worse, more gangs- or he could come with Gabe and have a place to sleep, eat and call home to at the end of the day.

The kid had spit at him, swearing and growling and refusing Gabe’s offer, saying that he’d rather die on the street than be some stranger’s charity case.

Gabe had just raised his eyebrows and stood up, brushing his jeans off and looking pointedly at the kid sitting on the dirty alley concrete, bloody and proud, shrugging. 

“I don’t pity you.” He said, turning to walk away. “You just remind me of myself a long time ago. Proud, angry, bitter at the world, among other things, and refusing all help because you’re scared it’ll be taken away again.” He shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets and making his way back towards the street. “I don’t pity you in the slightest. I just know how it feels.”

He’s just about to step back onto the sidewalk when he hears a desperate “ _ wait _ !” called out behind him.

Gabe pauses, turning around and raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“I’ll-” the kid stood up shakily and limped towards Gabe. He doesn’t look up as he stops in front of him, studying the floor instead, speaking quietly. “I’ll come with ya. Just don’t- Don’t be jokin’ about this, al’ight?” 

Gabe smiles and claps the kid on the shoulder, pushing him out onto the street, keeping him from falling on his ass and getting trampled by the mass of people walking around them. 

“No worries, kid. You don’t have to believe me right away, but I don’t do that kind of shit.”

“‘M not a kid.” he frowns, nearly tripping over his feet when he takes his eyes off the sidewalk to glare up at Gabe. “I’m 16.”

Gabe snorts. 

“Sounds like a kid to me.”

He laughs as the kid just growls under his breath, going back to watching where his feet landed. 

Gabe later finds out that the kid’s name was Jesse McCree, that he’d been a part of the notorious Deadlock Gang until recently, when he’d gotten sick of being treated like shit and ran off. The kids who’d tried to jump him had also been members of the gang, trying to punish Jesse for leaving and drag him back. 

He also finds out that Jesse was originally from New Mexico, and had learned to speak fluent Spanish from his mother, who’d died when he was only 7. His dad was an alcoholic and had used the last of their money on gambling and beer, forcing Jesse to fend for himself on the streets for a couple years, before he, too, died of alcohol poisoning a couple weeks after Jesse’s 13th birthday.  

Jesse had then been taken in by an estranged Aunt in New York, living there for only a few months before running away and getting caught up in the Deadlock gang. 

When Gabe had picked him up off the streets, Jesse had been on his own for 3 years, dealing with all sorts of people, a good deal of them corrupt and unkind. 

He was wary of Gabe at first, still nervous about being tricked, but after a while the two of them warmed up to each other, developing a close bond as time passed. 

Gabe worked as a security guard at a hospital for a little bit, making just enough to pay rent and get food, but not much more. The one bedroom apartment wasn’t big enough for the two of them, Jesse having to sleep on a cheap blow up mattress in the living room, but the kid swore it wasn’t bad at all, compared to how he was sleeping before, but Gabe still felt bad about it. They made do with what they could, dealing with the utilities occasionally getting shut off and not being able to afford dinner some nights, though Gabe always made sure that Jesse didn’t ever go hungry. 

It wasn’t the best, but it worked. 

On the weekends, when the hospital had enough guards to not need him, Gabe hung around the apartment with Jesse, doing dumb domestic family things he hadn’t done before, like watching old westerns (which he firmly denied liking) and teaching Jesse how to play the guitar. The kid picked up the instrument rather quickly, and Gabe found himself looking forward to their saturday night lessons, even if Jesse only wanted to learn classic rock songs and, to put it frankly, had a  _ terrible  _ singing voice. 

Gabe was loathe to admit having a soft spot for Jesse, but there were some things he did and let slide that “just taking care of him” didn’t explain away. 

One of which being Jesse’s odd obsession with cowboys. Gabe was sure the kid would eventually grow out of it and, thought it was kind of strange, it made Jesse happy, so Gabe didn’t stop him. 

It was a little ridiculous, but on Jesse’s 17th birthday, Gabe had gone out of his way to him a genuine cowboy hat, one that was from New Mexico to be specific, and had it shipped all the way to New York just to give it to the kid. 

A lot of people disapproved of Gabe allowing Jesse’s obsession to continue, saying it was ‘unbecoming’ and ‘ridiculous’ to name a few. Gabe just told them to fuck right off, that it made Jesse happy and, after all the shit he’d been through, he deserved to have something he liked so much. 

Most people were intimidated or didn’t have an argument to fight back with, so a lot of them dropped it after the first time. 

They did the best the could, despite their less-than-favorable conditions. 

It worked for a month or two, before Jesse got a job at a convenience store and Gabe was picked up by Talon Records, jumpstarting his career and income at the same time. Soon the two of them could move into a better apartment, one that was actually meant for two people this time, instead of the one they’d squeezed into before. 

They fell into a routine easily, their relationship blooming into something a lot closer to family than anything else, and Gabe could ignore his heart telling him that there was something (someone) missing, a significant lack of a blonde-hair-blue-eyed white boy creating an awful emptiness in his chest. 

Of course, Gabe kept it all bottled up inside, avoiding the subject of his most recent years in LA like the plague. He spoke about Ana and Fareeha sometimes, he’d been friends with them before Jack had moved in. Plus Ana still called him sometimes, usually to catch up or talk about their lives the past two months. 

Jesse was perceptive, though, he saw right through Gabe’s avoidance of the subject and one night, after he’d gotten Gabe sufficiently drunk after a particularly tough day at work, Jesse cornered him and asked. 

“Non’of your business, kid.” Gabe had growled, swaying slightly as he tried to elbow past Jesse, who doesn’t budge. Gabe nearly trips and falls on his ass. 

“Gabe,” the cowboy grabbed his arm to keep him upright and tugged him gently to the couch, forcing him to sit so he wouldn’t fall again. “You’re hiding something from me.”

“No ‘m not.” 

“Gabriel Reyes,” Jesse sighs wearily, running a hand down his face in exasperation. “Look me in th’ eye and tell me that ya aren’t tryna run away from somethin’ important in LA an’ I’ll leave you alone.”

Gabe is about to speak when Jesse raises his finger, indicating that he’s not done talking yet. Gabe shuts his mouth. 

“If ya try an’ lie to me, I’ll jus’ call Ana up an’ ask her myself.”

Gabe swears. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” he slurs, the alcohol in his system taking the bite out of his words. 

Jesse sits back and crosses his arms. 

“Don’t lie ta me, then. You tell tha truth an’ Ana won’t get involved.”

Gabe stares at him for a long second, turning over the proposition in his hazy mind before sinking further into the couch cushions and frowning, muttering about how he was gonna disown Jesse for this and kick his ass, so on and so forth.

“Ya got five minutes before tha’ phone comes out.” Jesse warns and Gabe gives him a death glare so strong it would’ve killed a lesser man right then and there, before sighing loudly and relenting. 

That night, for the first time in months, Gabe allowed himself to think about Jack again. He was sad and drunk off his ass, so all bets were off on what was going to come out of his mouth during their talk. 

Gabe told Jesse about Jack first, about how they met, all the best stories of their dumbass antics and how much Gabe loved him in every way. He told Jesse how they helped each other, about how beautiful Jack was when he smiled, about how he got the blonde emotionally invested in Spanish telenovelas and how they would marathon episodes until one or both of them would fall asleep on the couch. He talked about everything he could think of, about how Jack supported Gabe in becoming a musician and went to as many of his shows as possible, even if Gabe insisted it wasn’t a big deal, he would always try to be there. 

Jesse sat through his ramblings, laughing at the stories and smiling at Gabe’s obvious love for this man, despite knowing that they hadn’t even reached the part Jesse had asked about originally yet, hadn’t gotten to the reason why Gabe left and now avoided the subject of Jack completely. 

Jesse had lived with Gabe for close to five months now, he’d heard about the man’s siblings, about how much he loved his sister Isa’s little daughter, about his Mamá and how he’d lived growing up. But this was the first he’d heard of Jack this entire time and he was curious. 

Gabe trailed off after a little bit, a faraway look in his eyes and Jesse took the opportunity to ask something he wanted to know. 

“You got any pictures?” He asked, pulling Gabe out of his own head. “I’d like ta see what he looks like.”

Gabe blinks slowly, processing what Jesse was asking before nodding jerkily. 

“I shouldn’t’ve kept these,” he digs through his pocket and pulls out his phone. “I did though. Couldn’t bear to delete ‘em.”

His fingers flick through his camera roll for a couple seconds before he pulls a picture up and stares at it for a long second, a sad smile pulling at his lips. 

“Here.” Gabe hands Jesse the phone, eyes soft as he follows the picture with his gaze even as Jesse takes the device. “Tha’s Jack. Th’ blonde one.”

Jesse rolls his eyes. He obviously knew that Jack was the blonde one since the only other person in the pic was Gabe himself. 

He studies the screen carefully, seeing bright blue eyes and freckles and laughter, both his and Gabe’s mouths pulled into wild grins as they stand in front of a background of flowers. Jack’s arm was around Gabe’s shoulders and Jesse didn’t think he’d ever seen Gabe smiling that wide before.

“He’s beautiful, isn’ he?” 

Jesse looks up, nodding, and catches the soft look on Gabe’s face. 

“....What happened?” Jesse asked slowly, watching the fondness in the other man’s eyes be replaced by a raw ache. They were close to the root of Gabe’s secret now, Jesse couldn’t stop now. 

Gabe looked down at his hands and frowned. 

“I got ‘n opportunity to come here. He- He supported me but I could tell he was hurting. I never asked, though, I never asked what was wrong. I should’ve.”

He shakes his head, shoulders drooping. 

“An’ then I was leavin’ and we were at the airport sayin’ our goodbyes an he-”

Gabe took a deep breath, the lump forming in his throat making it hard to speak, not to mention all the alcohol he’d drank earlier. 

“He said he loved me.” He looked up at Jesse, the look on his face equal parts self-loathing and disbelief. He barked out a harsh laugh, closing his hands into fists. “Jack loved me! Can you believe that? After al’ my fear an’ overthinking and every reason I convinced m’self was my imagination,  _ he loved me back _ .”

Gabe unclenched his fists, pressing the heel of his palm into his eyes to try and stop the pressure he could feel building behind them. 

“An’ I left.”

Gabe’s voice was quiet, thick with emotion and regret. 

“I didn’ say anything back to him, I jus-” His voice cracked. “I was scared. I was so scared an’ I didn’t wanna hurt him in the slightest, but I still ran. I boarded the plane here and never called or texted or nothin’.”

He laughs again, a painful sound, and Jesse winces. 

“I fucked up, Jesse, I really did. I didn’t know what to do an- I panicked and hurt him and I can never fix what I did but-” he shakes his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over him.”

Silence fills the room as Jesse struggles with finding something to say and Gabe gets lost in his mistakes. 

A couple minutes pass before Gabe stands, a little wobbly at first, but quickly steadies himself against the arm of the couch. 

“‘M gonna….go to bed.” he mumbles, slowly making his way to the bedroom, trying to keep himself from falling by bracing his hand on the wall. 

Jesse watches him go with a frown, but doesn’t try to stop him. He knows enough to see that Gabe needed to be alone for a while. 

He goes to the kitchen and pours a glass of water, grabbing a bottle of tylenol and placing them on the floor next to Gabe’s door carefully. 

“G’night, Gabe.” he says to the door, quiet as to not let anyone hear. “Sleep well.”

 

\-----

 

Gabe made it home right after the sun set, since New York traffic decided to kick his ass and be  _ worse  _ than it usually was. 

He sighs, pulling out his card and swiping into the apartment building’s lobby. He waved at the lady who manned the front desk (her name was Judy) and exchanged quick hello’s before making his way up to the 9th floor. 

The front door to his apartment was unlocked,  _ of course,  _ which he rolled his eyes at, reminding himself to tell Jesse to stop that. He kicked off his shoes and padded into the kitchen for some water and food, before shuffling to the living room and flopping onto the couch tiredly. 

“That you, Gabe?” Jesse called from somewhere in the apartment, voice muffled by the walls separating them. 

Gabe replied by groaning, sinking further into the cushions and closing his eyes. 

Over the course of the taxi ride, his boiling anger had faded into an exhaustion so deep it made his bones heavy. 

Footsteps approached and the other side of the couch dipped under Jesse’s weight as he sat down. 

“So,” he drawled. “What’re you goin’ to LA for?”

Gabe chewed the inside of his lip anxiously as he thought about what he was trying to do. 

“Ana called today,” he sighed. “She told me that Jack, uh- He heard the song about him.”

Jesse huffed. 

“Told ya that’d happen eventually.”

Gabe cracked an eye open and glared at the cowboy. Jesse shrugged. 

“What? I did.”

Gabe sighs wearily and closes his eyes again, letting his head falling back onto the couch.

“I know, I know.” he shakes his head. “You told me it just- I don’t know, it didn’t register or something.” 

Jesse doesn’t say anything so Gabe keeps talking, the nervousness he feels showing plainly in his words. 

“She also told me that he- he hadn’t been doing too well since them. Not eating or talking to anyone but Ana, and apparently even that wasn’t much.”

Gabe slings an arm over his face, blocking out both the light and the look Jesse was giving him.

“She told me that I needed to fix this, to come back to LA and make up to Jack  _ somehow _ -” He sits up suddenly, staring at Jesse with wide eyes. “What if he doesn’t even want to see me? What do I do then?!”

“That’s his decision, Gabe. Ya can’t jus’ go an’ predict what other people are gonna do, you only get to take what they’re willin’ to give ya, and that’s all you can do.” He shrugs. “If ya go back to LA and find out Jack hates you an’ never wants to see your face again, then that’s  _ his  _ decision and you can’t change that.” 

Gabe’s about to speak when Jesse continues. 

“But,” he pins Gabe with a knowing look. “He could also forgive ya, and let you back into his life. Right now, you’re anxious and scared and al’ that jazz, but I promise you that if you don’ go to LA, you’ll never know which decision he’ll make, and you miss out on the chance that he still loves ya.”

Gabe nods slowly, Jesse’s words clicking into place in his brain. 

“It’s up to you, though.” Jesse sits back and levels Gabe with a look. “You can let yer fear win an’ sit on your ass for the rest of your life and wonder what Jack would’ve chosen, or you can take a goddamn chance and find out fer yourself.”

Gabe takes a deep breath, steadying himself. 

“Okay. You’re- You’re right.”

Jesse nods and stands up, sauntering to the kitchen to scavenge up some food. 

“You want anythin’?” He glances back at the couch over his shoulder and Gabe shakes his head no. “A’ight then. Your loss.”

Gabe hears noise start up in the kitchen, Jesse turning on his godawful country music while he starts to cook. Soon, the teenager’s enthusiastic singing filtered into the living room, making Gabe snort and wince at the notes so off-key that it hurt him physically. 

He sits on the couch for a little longer, listening to Jesse throw something together in the kitchen, the occasional clatter of something being dropped and the resulting curses were the only interruptions to his obnoxious music and loud singing. 

His phone buzzes from somewhere underneath him and Gabe digs through the cushions for a second in order to grab it. Pulling up his notification screen and glancing over it quickly, he sees something that makes him pause. It was an email from his manager that was sent 10 minutes ago. He opens it and scans the message with wide eyes. 

“Oh,” he breathes as he reaches the end of the email. “Oh shit.”

He reads through it one more time to make sure he didn’t miss anything, before pushing himself off the couch and going to the kitchen. 

“Jesse...” he calls from the doorway, still staring at the two paragraphs from his manager.

“Yeah?” the cowboy looks up curiously, frowning at Gabe when he caught sight of him. “What’s up?”

Gabe looks up, a huge smile splitting his face.

“Talon said yes.”

Jesse’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“Said yes to what?”

Gabe just grins.

“We’re going to LA.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup well. there's chapter 3 lol  
> glad u guys are liking it!!!  
> u can find me at caviteens on tumblr  
> keep being cool, 2 chapters left


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen.  
> Jack's POV, then Gabe's.

After a couple days of moping, Jack forced himself to go back to work, hoping that seeing Wendy and a couple friendly faces would help him get back into the swing of things. 

Wendy had taken one look at him and given Jack a huge hug, dragging him into the store and handing him a bag of apples, a few mangoes (knowing that they were his favorite fruit), and a medium bag of Molly’s favorite dog food. 

Jack, of course, tried to say no, but Wendy refused, telling him that after all the extra work he did for her it was the least she could do. Jack relented after that, accepting the bag and tucking it in the fridge while he worked. 

Throughout the day, Jack saw a lot of regulars who were happy to see him, having missed his “pretty face,” as an elderly Mrs. Lowell told him, when he was out for the last few days. 

For a couple hours Jack allowed himself to be distracted, to laugh and smile at the stories people told him about things that happened in their lives, ranging from Rachel Howard’s geranium dying unexpectedly to Charley Syke’s great-grandson’s soccer team getting a first place ranking out of the entire LA region. 

Closing time came quicker than expected and, before Jack could even register time passing, it was pushing 7 o’clock, the sun fading behind the buildings surrounding them. He packed away the deli meats and cheeses and stacked them in the fridge for keeping cool overnight. He swept up while Wendy dealt with the cash register and, before long, he was saying goodbye to the old woman outside of the darkened storefront, the bag Wendy had given him dangling from one arm as he thanked her quietly and apologized for not coming in recently. 

She looked at him strangely and folded her arms. 

“Jack, you’ve helped me more than I could ever tell you. You needed to take a couple days off and you’re allowed to do what is necessary. I don’t mind you not coming in as long as you’re taking care of yourself.”

She touches his arm gently, smiling up at him. 

“Don’t forget that I care about you, okay? Everyone knows your name here, and they all care about you too. You matter a lot more than you think, Mr. Morrison.”

Jack cracks a smile at the use of his last name, pulling the woman into a hug. 

“Thank you, Wendy.” He pulls away, looking her in the eyes so she knows he’s serious. “I won’t forget.”

“Good.” she pats his shoulder. “Now go get that food to Molly, I’m sure she’s hungry by now.”

“She’s  _ always _ hungry.” Jack laughs, waving as he makes his way home. 

The walk is short and he hums as he climbs the steps to his second floor apartment, unlocking the door and whistling loudly. 

The sound of dog nails scrambling against the floor comes almost immediately, Molly barrelling around the corner to say hi to Jack, her tail moving at a hundred miles an hour. 

He laughs and closes the door behind hjm, the 60 pound dog skidding to a halt just in time to stop herself from slamming into Jack and knocking him over. She sits her butt down on the ground and barks expectantly, waiting for him to give the okay to say hi. He shushes her lightly, putting finger to his lips and she rumbles softly in return, tail tucking around her leg to show Jack she was sorry. 

“Aw, who am I kidding?” he grins at Molly, who starts wagging her tail again, causing it to thump against the floor loudly. He kneels down and opens his arms wide, indicating that it was okay for her to leap forward and into his arms, licking as much of his face as she could and spinning around in circles so he could scratch all over. After a minute of greeting each other, Jack stands and stretches, leading Molly into the kitchen and pulling out her new dog food from Wendy’s bag and shaking it to get her attention. 

“You wanna eat, baby girl?” 

She barks excitedly and obediently trots over to the small rug in front of the sink, which was about 5 feet away from where Jack kept her food bowl. 

“Good,” he praised her, pleased. “Just like we trained.”

He scoops some food into her bowl and refills her water, glad he finally taught her how to wait for her food instead of trying to eat it before Jack could even take it out of the bag. 

He stands and tucks the food away, brushing his hands off and stepping away from her bowls before giving the command. 

“Okay.” he nods, Molly lunging off the rug and directly to her food, nearly knocking over the water bowl in her excitement. 

He laughs quietly and starts his search for food. As much as he loved working for Wendy, she couldn’t afford to pay Jack more than she already did, and he was starting to get worried about his budget. Rent was pretty low for LA, since the apartment was small and shitty and had a lot, and he meant  _ a lot, _ of problems, but was still more than Jack could afford and still be able to eat at the end of the day. 

Either he’d have to move ( _ again),  _ or look for a second job. Both options sucked, honestly. If Jack had to move, he probably wouldn’t find a cheaper place in this area, which meant he would have to quit working at Wendy’s store. And Jack couldn’t even  _ begin _ to imagine how much stress he’d have to deal with if he got another job. 

He sighed tiredly as his search for some dinner came up empty, meaning he probably wouldn’t be able to eat anything but a piece of fruit tonight. Silently, Jack thanked Wendy for her kindness, or else he’d have nothing at all. 

His phone buzzed from where he’d left it on the counter and Jack glanced up, surprised. 

It was Ana, which wasn’t surprising considering she knew his work schedule and hadn’t left Jack alone recently (for obvious reasons he didn’t want to think about).

“Hey, Ana.” he answered, picking up on the third ring. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Uh,” Jack blinked, surprised at her forwardness. “Not much? I didn’t really think about it, I guess?”

“Great!” Ana was excited about something, Jack could tell, though he didn’t know what. “I’ll be over in a couple minutes, ‘kay? We’re going out.”

“Wait, Ana-” He protested, confused and caught completely off guard, but it was too late. She’d already hung up. 

Jack put down his phone with a quiet noise of exasperation. 

Molly trotted over, curious, and nosed at his hand. Jack looked down at her and scratched behind her ear, just how she liked it. 

“I guess I’ll be doing something tonight, Molly.” He sighs again, weary of everything that happened within the past week. Honestly? He just wanted to sleep, but at this point Ana would see right through his excuse and remind him that he’d been sleeping for the past four days straight. 

“Maybe she’s right.” He grimaces. “I probably do need to get out and have fun or something.”

He talks to Molly for a few more minutes before a knock sounds at his door, which bursts open after a second or two, Ana coming through and heading right for Jack. She takes one look at him in his work clothes (which, admittedly, needed a wash) and sighs wearily. 

“Alright,” She grabs him by the wrist and pulls him to the only bedroom in the entire apartment, a room barely big enough to fit a mattress large enough for Jack and Molly both, to lay on the floor. Ana steps around it expertly and makes her way to Jack’s closet, flipping through his stuff with a careful eye, inspecting anything that caught her eyes. 

She pulled out a plain black t-shirt and a clean pair of jeans, throwing them at Jack and telling him to go change in her do-as-I-say-or-else voice. Jack doesn’t argue, making his way to the bathroom to get ready. 

He had to admit, the clothes Ana picked out for him weren’t bad at all, the t-shirt a good fit and the jeans were hugging him in all the right places. He looked….pretty great, actually. 

After running a hand through his hair and ultimately failing to get it to lay flat, he went back to Ana, who handed him his phone and wallet, grinning at him widely. 

It was only after she dragged him into a cab that Jack dared to ask what she was planning to do tonight and what his involvement in that plan would be. 

“It’s a surprise.” She just smiled at him, a hint of  _ something  _ Jack couldn’t quite place in her eyes. 

He just nodded and watched the city flash past the cab window as Ana texted someone in the seat next to him. 

They arrived in a couple minutes, the taxi slowing down in a mostly empty street Jack didn’t recognize. 

“Where-” He starts, getting cut off by Ana pulling him out of the cab and practically dragging him down a side street to a set of wide double doors. Vaguely, Jack could hear the nearby thrum of music and he raised his eyebrows at Ana, who ignored him in favor of knocking on the door loudly. 

After a second, it opened, letting out the music blaring from within the building and catching Jack off guard. A large man stood in front of them, frowning with his arms crossed in front of him. 

“Who’re you?” he growls.

“Ana Amari and Jack Morrison. We should be on the list for backstage.” 

The man stares them down before moving to the side and gesturing them inside. 

“You’re good to go.” He speaks again, voice still rough and growly despite no longer being hostile. “If anyone tries to stop you, just tell ‘em your names. They’ll know who you are.”

Ana nods, thanking him with a smile, and pulls Jack into the building, dragging him through hallway after hallway. 

“Ana!” He digs his heels into the floor, forcing the two of them to a grinding halt and tugging her around to face him. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

She looks at him for a couple second, thinking through her words long and hard before speaking.

“Jack, just-” She chews her lip nervously and drops her grip on his arm to squeeze his hand comfortingly instead. “Just trust me, okay?”

Jack huffs, frowning deeply, but, after a pause, he relents. 

“Fine. But you owe me for this.”

She laughs and waves her hand dismissively before pulling him through the hallways again, her grip a lot softer this time around. 

She leads him closer and closer to the music before they push through a door and arrive at their destination, a small empty balcony facing a stage. The room was packed otherwise, all of the other balconies full of people, the same happening on the floor in front of the stage below. The noise of the crowd was deafening, morphing from general cheering to a chant of  _ Encore! Encore! _

“Did you bring me here just to see the end of a concert?” Jack frowns at Ana, who just shushes him, pointing at the stage. He can briefly see her type out a quick text on her phone before he turns back to the front of the room. Jack watches the dark stage, thoroughly confused by his surroundings. 

_ What was important enough for Ana to take me to an almost finished concert for? _

The lights of the stage light up, the crowd going wild and it hits Jack like a train, suddenly it all makes sense: why Ana had brought him here, why she’d kept it a secret, why the bodyguard knew their names.

All the breath in his body left him in an instant and Jack could only lean forward to stare at the stage in stunned silence, hands keeping a white-knuckled grip on the arms of his chair as he felt his stomach drop. 

“Oh,  _ God _ .” he whispered. “It’s  _ Gabe _ .”

 

\-----

 

The concert was almost over, the last song of the set had been played and the lights on the stage were dark. The crowd was still cheering wildly, their screams quickly turning into a unanimous request for an encore. 

Gabe couldn’t force himself to be still for even a second, he was that nervous. 

He kept checking his phone every three seconds, waiting for Ana’s text with a weird mix of nervous excitement and sickening dread. 

“Gabe, ‘m pretty sure yer phone’ll tell ya when she texts ya, you don’t haveta check it so much.” 

“Fuck off.” Gabe snaps, bouncing his leg nervously before checking his phone again. “She told me they were driving over 10 minutes ago, they should be here by now.”

“They’ll be here soon.” Jesse puts a steady hand on his shoulder, reassuring him. “Jus’ a little longer.”

Gabe buries his head in his hands and groans loudly. 

“God this is so- This is so  _ stressful,  _ Jesse. I feel like I’m actually dying.”

Jesse laughs, shaking his head. 

“Don’ be dramatic, your not gonna die.”

“You can’t promise that.” Gabe grumbled half heartedly, voice muffled through his hands. 

“Gabe, if you die on that there stage, I’ll bring ya back just to kill you for goin’ an’ dying on me.”

Gabe snorts just as his phone buzzes. He checks it, reads Ana’s text and takes a deep breath, steeling himself. 

He turns to Jesse and nods.

“They’re here.”

Jesse gives the stage manager a thumbs up and shoves Gabe back out onto the darkened stage. 

“You can do this, Gabe!” He calls out encouragingly as Gabe picks his away to the center of the dark stage. He lifts his guitar from its stand and settles down on the stool one of the tech help had set out for him.

He slings the instrument over his shoulder and takes a final deep breath, knowing that there was no going back at this point. 

Gabe glances back at Jesse and gives him a thumbs up, indicating that he was ready. 

He swallows and looks out over the crowd, feeling more nervous than he’d ever felt performing since his first time on stage. 

The lights went up, illuminating the stage and Gabe both, everyone in the crowd went wild at the sight of him, howling their excitement up to the ceiling. 

Gabe felt himself smile widely, checking the mic before speaking. 

“You wanted an encore?” he asked, grinning as the crowd responded in turn, shouts of agreement echoing around the room. “I can do that.”

He pauses for a second, adjusting his guitar and resting his hands in position to start playing. 

“Final song for tonight’s gonna be special, okay? I’m sure you can guess which one I’m gonna pick- it’s pretty close to my heart.” He starts playing the intro as he talks, pausing only when the excitement of the crowd overtakes his own voice. He starts speaking over the chords after they quieted down somewhat.

“If you didn’t know, I was born and raised right here in LA.” A cheer rises from the crowd and he laughs. “While I lived here, I happened to meet some of the most amazing people in my life. One of them inspired this song.

“We didn’t start out on the best of terms but, long story short, he became my best friend. And then….Something more.” Gabe breathes out quietly and shakes his head. “Loving him was like second nature to me.

“But I was scared. I was really,  _ really  _ scared. So I did the stupidest thing in my entire life, and I left.”

The crowd was almost silent this point, everyone enraptured by Gabe’s story as he sat alone on the stage, strumming his guitar and talking of his lost love.

“I hurt him, and I hurt him bad. I regret what I’ve done every day since I turned tail and ran.

“But I want to make it up to him. I want to make things better more than  _ anything.  _ I haven’t stopped loving him, not even after all this time.” He looks out into the crowd, voice strong and powerful as he speaks.

“So this is me. This is how I’ll start. This is how I’ll begin to make things better. I hope he’ll let me try.”

And with that final line, he begins to sing the same song he knew Jack had heard on the radio, his fingers running through the notes with sure movements. He puts all of his emotions into the song, every feeling of regret and sadness and loss and so many other things he couldn’t name, piling everything he could onto the lyrics. Too quickly he finds himself playing the final repeated chorus, slowing his hands down just enough to soften the ending and sing it like a secret. The guitar fades away and it’s just Gabe, singing the last line like it was the last thing he’d do.

 

_ I promise you I’ll come home.  _

 

The audience explodes, screaming and clapping and cheering for him, but all Gabe could think about was seeing Jack.

“Thank you for being here tonight!” He calls out, standing and waving to the crowd before grinning and giving an exaggerated bow.

He steps off the stage and nearly runs into Jesse who gives him a wild grin.

“Gabe, that was amazing!” he crows over the noise of the wings and crowd combined, wrapping his arms around Gabe in a quick hug. “Now go! Don’t you have a best friend to win back?” 

The teen pushes him in the direction of where Ana had said she would bring Jack afterwards and Gabe goes, high on post show adrenaline and nerves. 

He didn’t know how Jack would react to this. If he was being real, Jack should  _ hate _ Gabe for what he did and, frankly, Gabe wouldn’t blame him if he did. 

But,  _ god, _ did he want to be with Jack again. 

He slowed to a halt in front of the door to the room Ana had given him and took a deep breath, trying to give himself enough strength to follow through. After a second of hyping himself up, he knocked, stepping back slightly and waiting for someone to answer. 

It didn’t take long for the door to open, Ana staring at him pointedly for a long second before sighing. 

“I’m going to leave you to talk to him alone.” She steps around him and pats his shoulder encouragingly. “You’ve done far better than I thought you would. Don’t mess it up.”

Gabe ignores her weird mix of a compliment and a jab, choosing instead to push the door open all of the way, stepping into the room with a deep breath. 

He spots Jack almost immediately in the empty green room and just….drinks in the sight of him. God, he’s missed him. 

The blonde sits on a small couch in the middle of the room, studying his fidgeting hands instead of looking up at Gabe, but it doesn’t bother him as much as it should’ve because he’s hit with the realization that  _ Jack is right here _ .

“Jack-” Gabe starts, cautious, immediately getting cut off by Jack holding up a finger, a sign that he needed a little more time before any words were exchanged. 

Jack looks up finally, his expression void of emotion as he glances at Gabe briefly, before his eyes find something else to focus on and he turns away. 

Jack swallows, voice thick but quiet. 

“What are you trying to do?”

Gabe frowns at the question.

“I want-” he pauses. “I need to tell you that I’m sorry for how I’ve acted this past year. I made a huge mistake by leaving and everything that happened after. I regret that I hurt you so badly and for so long, I should have treated you better. I was a coward and- I want to make things better between us.”

Gabe’s voice goes soft and aching. 

“I missed you.”

“You-” Jack clenches his hands into fists and glares at a stain on the carpet. He laughs, harsh and bitter. “You think you can just- Just  _ waltz  _ back into my life again? After all the shit you put me through?”

His voice cracks and all the fire drains out of him, shoulders falling and hands uncurling to rest on the top of his thighs 

“You  _ left _ , Gabe.” He sounds utterly broken and it cuts through Gabe like a knife. “You left and you never called or  _ anything.  _ I couldn’t-” he takes a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t even imagine being without you before you left, it was impossible to think about and then- I fucked up and you ran away and I had to learn to cope with losing you in a matter of hours and it  _ hurt _ .”

“Jack, you didn’t-” Gabe frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “You didn’t do anything wrong by telling me how you felt.”

Jack ran his hand through his hair in frustration.  

“How can you say that?” he snaps, eyes flashing. “How can you say that when none of this would have happened if I had just  _ kept my mouth shut _ .”

Silence fills the room and Jack snorts. 

“I thought so.”

“No.” Gabe shakes his head, catching Jack’s eyes pointedly. “You’re wrong. You didn’t force me to run away and drop contact, I made that stupid decision on my own. You surprised me, I will admit that, but I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you back. I left because I was scared and didn’t know how to deal with leaving you in LA and going to New York by myself. I was an idiot and thought that if I made you hate me it would make it easier for you to move on and find someone that _ wouldn’t leave _ .”

Jack scrubs at his face tiredly. 

“What if I  _ wanted  _ to be with you, huh?” he snaps and Gabe winces. “Despite you having already decided that it wouldn’t work or some stupid shit like that, did you ever think that maybe I wanted to  _ try _ ?” he buries his head into his hands, protecting his face from Gabe’s eyes. “Did my feelings even  _ matter  _ to you?”

Gabe was about to protest when Jack continued, voice cracking. 

“I loved you, Gabe. I wanted to be with you more than  _ anything _ . But you didn’t give me a choice-” he cuts himself off, shoulders trembling from contained emotion. “You didn’t-”

Gabe stands still for a second, the earth shifting underneath his feet and suddenly he knew,  _ he knew,  _ that he was on the edge of something important, something that would either fix things or keep them irreversibly the same, and all he had to do was make the right move. 

For a moment he balances at the edge, taking a deep breath to steady his racing heart before letting himself fall. 

Gabe just prays he made the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh sorry for the delay in updates! life has been. a Lot lately  
> anyway. next chapter is the last hoo boy here we go  
> as usual you can find me at caviteens.tumblr.com  
> yeah


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to mend.  
> Jack's POV.

“You didn’t-”

Jack couldn’t continue, can’t even get himself breathe.

Everything feels so tight and suffocating and Gabe is here in the same room and his heart is screaming to reach out and  _ touch _ , to see if the man in front of him was real or if he’d finally cracked. 

He couldn’t bring himself to move from his position on the small black couch in the empty green room, his hands hiding his face desperately. 

The lights were too harsh, his breathing too loud, Gabe too quiet and Jack wanted nothing more than for everything to just  _ stop _ . 

He just-

Jack jumps in surprise, not expecting to feel a pair of strong arms wrap around his shoulders in a tight hug. 

“Wha-” he yelps indignantly as he’s pulled forward, hands scrabbling to grab at the fabric of Gabe’s hoodie to steady himself. “Gabriel!”

Gabe just hums, low and soothing, shifting enough so he could pull Jack down and onto his lap without too much effort. He’s tucked against the other man’s chest comfortably, Gabe hooking his chin over the top of Jack’s head. A warm hand rubs calm circles against his lower back, the other moving to cup the nape of Jack’s neck, fingers brushing gently at the base of his skull. 

Jack struggles for a couple seconds, snarling out angry curses, uselessly fighting against Gabe’s arms and his own aching heart at the same time. Something catches in his chest, harsh and painful, Jack’s voice breaking as he begins to shake. 

Gabe doesn’t let go, doesn’t budge at all, ignoring Jack’s hurled insults and swears until he deflates in exhaustion, all of his anger draining out of him as quickly as it had come. 

He hates this, hates how he can’t stay mad at Gabe, despite all that happened, despite  _ everything _ , despite how hard he’d tried to hate the other man after he’d left- it hadn’t been  _ enough. _

It hadn’t been enough for him to lie and tell himself he hated Gabe, no matter how many times he told himself it was true, it never was- because  _ he couldn’t,  _ not when he’d never wanted to hate Gabe in the first place. 

Jack lets his shoulders fall, energy gone, and finally allows his tired bones to succumb to the feeling of Gabe’s warmth surrounding him. 

He grips the front of Gabe’s hoodie, fingers curling around the soft fabric in his hands and leans forward just enough to rest his head on the crook of Gabe’s neck, pressing his nose into the space between dark skin and bunched up hoodie. 

Gabe smelled the same as he did almost two years ago. Smelled like the sun and too-sweet coffee and his favorite cologne and-

_ He smelled like home _ .

Jack doesn’t try to fight the thought back anymore, just shuts his eyes tight and breathes in, trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last two hours. 

He feels Gabe shift around him, pulling the two of them into a more comfortable position, yet never moving away from Jack, trying to keep their bodies as close as possible.

Jack relaxes slowly, the tension in his limbs fading as the minutes passed, Gabe’s hands kneading the tightness from whatever they could easily reach, moving from the knots in Jack’s shoulders to the planes of his back and eventually settling on combing through his hair, their touch soft and tender. 

Gabe was humming something quietly, the melody reminding Jack of all the times he’d watched Gabe play guitar, just the two of them, no audience or stage or microphone or anything to put pressure on them; It was the one time where everything would slow down, not for long, but just enough to relax and enjoy each other’s company for the afternoon. 

Jack hadn’t felt that kind of peace for a very long time. He missed it. 

“Why now…?” He asked quietly, voice slow and exhausted, the anger from before long gone.

The hand running through his hair stills and Gabe’s humming slows to a stop, silence filling the space where it had been a second before. 

“Ana called.” He replies after a couple beats, hands slowly beginning to rub circles into Jack’s skin again. “She said you, uh- You heard my song on the radio and that you weren’t doing well after that and I-”

He takes a second to gather his thoughts before trying again. 

“I couldn’t handle the thought of running away anymore. Before I found out what happened I wasn’t- I wasn’t doing well at all. This whole time- Since I left- I couldn’t get you out of my head.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t know why I even thought I could. I  _ can’t _ .”

Gabe’s arms tighten slightly, not a lot, but enough that Jack could tell he didn’t quite believe they were in the same room again either. 

“I didn’t even  _ want _ to stop thinking about you in the first place. I fucked up, Jack, I fucked up because I was scared and- I  _ hurt you _ and I haven’t-” He takes a steadying breath. “I’ve regretted running from you every day. Every minute I spent alone I thought of you. Even after all this time you’re- You’re  _ still _ the best thing in my entire life.”

He goes quiet for a minute and Jack can hear the nervous thumping inside of Gabe’s chest as clear as day. 

“I love you.” he whispers after a long second, quiet and soft and shaky in the silence of the room surrounding them. “I love you so much, Jack Morrison.”

He pulls away carefully, just enough to be able to cup his hands on either side of Jack’s face and look him straight in the eye when he speaks again. 

“I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry I hurt you and never tried to make it better.” Gabe spoke quietly, his words completely and undeniably honest. “I understand if you hate me. You’d be right to after everything that happened. If you want to, you can leave. You can kick me out and I won’t ever bother you again. I want you to be happy. Even if you want me out of your life forever, that won’t change.” His thumbs brush across Jack’s cheekbones tenderly, expression failing to hide the longing in his eyes. “But-”  he takes a deep breath. “If you want to try again, to give me another chance- I promise I will do  _ whatever _ it takes to fix what I did.” Gabe’s smile is filled emotion as he says the one thing he’d wanted to say for years. “I love you with everything I have, Jack Morrison. Whatever you choose, I will still love you.”

Stunned silence fills the room and Jack just stares at Gabe, his ability to speak rendered useless by what had just been said. He struggled to find the words he needed in order to tell Gabe what his choice was, desperately racking his brain for something to say, but nothing came up, no matter how hard he pushed, nothing appeared. 

Jack growled in frustration, foregoing the whole ‘speaking’ thing in favor of just  _ acting _ . 

He uses his grip on Gabe’s hoodie to yank the man closer and, in one smooth movement, pressed their mouths together in a kiss. 

Gabe doesn’t move for a second, surprised by Jack’s sudden movement, before he kisses back, slow and soft and everything Jack had ever dreamed of. 

He threads his fingers through Gabe’s soft curls as they map out the feeling of each other’s mouths, the hands on either side of his face dropping down to rest on his hips. It feels lovely and beautiful and  _ right _ and the weight in Jack’s chest, the one that had grown inside of him since Gabe left, started melting away.

It was only when neither could breathe that they pulled apart, only to stare at each other and realize what had just happened. 

Jack’s happiness builds from somewhere deep inside of him, starting as something soft and warm that quickly grows louder until he couldn’t contain it anymore. He lets his head fall onto Gabe’s shoulder, his shoulders starting to shake again- except it’s different from before, it’s entirely new and raw and he realizes he’s  _ laughing.  _

“....Jack?” Gabe’s voice is concerned, rightfully so, considering how the night had gone so far. 

Jack pulls away, still laughing, and wraps his arms around Gabe’s neck. 

“I’m fine,” he grins, pressing their lips together again in a quick kiss. “I’m really great, actually.” 

Gabe still looks confused and that only makes Jack laugh harder. 

“Are you laughing at me?” Gabe frowns, eyebrows knitting together. Jack waves his hand dismissively, trying to get his laughter under control. 

“‘M not laughing at you! It’s just-” he snickers and leans forward to rest his forehead against Gabe’s affectionately. “We  _ kissed _ , Gabe!  _ Finally!” _

It clicks and Gabe snorts, a smile lighting up his features as he kisses Jack again, both of them smiling too hard to do anything for long.

Jack laughs again, pulling away just to press kisses across Gabe’s cheeks and nose and along the line of his jaw, grinning the entire time. 

Gabe pulls him back for a real kiss by the front of his shirt and Jack lets him, easily falling into the warmth radiating from Gabe’s entire being and loving every second of it. 

“About fucking time!” 

Jack jerked away in surprise, head whipping towards the door to find a very smug Ana and a teenager (in a cowboy hat?) standing in the doorway. 

“Ana!” Gabe snarled at the woman, peeved at being interrupted. “I swear, you better have a good reason for this-”

“I don’t  _ need  _ a reason to fuck with you, Gabí.” She grins, flashing him her teeth. “I’ve earned my right to annoy you when you begged for my help.”

Gabe growled viciously, but Ana kept talking, completely ignoring him in favor of turning to the blonde in his lap. 

“Anyway, Jack, I figured that I should take some precautionary measures in the very slim chance that Gabí’s dumbass plan  _ actually  _ worked, so I called Wendy to watch Molly tonight and left a box of condoms on your kitchen table.”

Jack turns a bright shade of red in embarrassment and buries his face in his hands, groaning.

“ANA!” Gabe roars, murderous, pushing himself off the floor and lunging for her. 

The woman just laughs and dances out of the way, teasing Gabe relentlessly the whole time. 

Jack stands and brushes his pants off quickly, catching sight of the young kid still standing frozen in the doorway. They make eye contact and Jack laughs lightly, grinning at the kid’s half terrified half concerned expression. 

“Before you ask,” he starts, leaning against the wall idly and sticking his hands in his pocket. “They’re always like this.”

The kid nods slowly, following the movements of the other two as they practically danced around the room with wide eyes. 

“The secret to stopping these two dumbasses,” Jack smiles fondly as he watches along with the kid. “is to get one of them distracted enough to not care anymore.” 

He turns to the kid and sticks his hand out. 

“Jack Morrison.”

The kid looks up at him and smiles crookedly. 

“Mighty fine to finally meet ya’ Mr. Morrison,” he drawls in a thick Western accent, shaking the offered hand. “Name’s Jesse Mccree.”

Jack raises his eyebrows at the accent and also the word ‘finally,’ but decides to ask later, in favor of fixing the mess currently unfolding in front of them.

“Alright, Jesse.” he nods and looks back at Gabe and Ana with a sly grin. “You wanna see my distraction?”

Jesse nods almost immediately, eyes wide. 

Jack pushes off of the wall and stands up straight, raising himself up to his full height. 

“Hey!” He snaps, hands landing on his hips like he was about to scold a child. 

At the sound of Jack’s voice, the two of them grind to a halt, both of their focus now fully on Jack, instead of each other. “If you two don’t stop acting like literal  _ children _ right now, I swear, I’m locking you both in here and going home immediately.”

“You wouldn’t.” 

“I would,” Jack narrows his eyes threateningly. “And if you try to cross me, I’ll make sure you get  _ nothing _ out of tonight.”

Gabe winces. 

“Got it.” he mumbles, unhappy but not about to test if Jack was bluffing or not. 

Ana flashes a smug grin at Gabe, who snarls in response. 

“You’re on thin ice too, Ana.” Jack warns, catching their attention once more. “Keep it up and you’ll have to find a new babysitter.”

Ana grumbles, annoyed, but doesn’t argue with him either. 

“Alright,” Jack claps his hands together and smiles again. “Let’s get out of here.”

He turns to Jesse and winks, grinning at the star-struck look in the boy’s wide eyes. 

“And that’s how you do it.” 

“Jesus. Remind me to never piss ya off, a’ight?” he shakes his head in disbelief. “That was just plain terrifyin’.”

Gabe slides his arms around Jack’s waist from behind and hooks his chin over the blonde’s shoulder tiredly. 

“You haven’t even seen the worst of it, Jesse.” he grouses. “Just wait until someone tapes over his favorite show, then you’ll know true fear.”

Jack snickers and swats lightly at Gabe’s arms, who grumbles and releases his hold, albeit unwillingly. 

“Gabe, you taped over my show because you wanted to see that one episode with María’s boyfriend in it  _ explicitly  _ because you thought the actor was hot.” Jack calls over his shoulder with a roll of his eyes, already walking out of the room. 

“Uh,  _ wrong _ ,” Gabe shoots back. “I recorded that episode because they had a whole pool scene with  _ multiple _ hot actors. They were  _ skinny-dipping _ , Jack, you can’t pretend that it wasn’t worth it.”

“Don’t push your luck, Gabe,” Jack laughs from the hallway. “I’ll make u sleep on the couch.”

A muffled curse is the only reply, and, after some words were exchanged with Jesse, Gabe finally joins Jack in the hallway in order to lead them out of the building. 

They walk through winding hallways in relative silence, though it’s not uncomfortable. It wasn’t like before, not yet, but it was good enough for right then. 

A minute later finds them standing on the sidewalk outside of the concert venue, waiting for a taxi to pass by the darkened building. 

Jack hums under his breath and looks at Gabe out of the corner of his eye. He looks almost….nervous, as if he isn’t quite sure what to do anymore. Jack rolls his eyes. 

“Hey,” he smiles, pulling the other man closer by the fabric of his hoodie. Gabe makes a surprised noise as he’s yanked over, the grip on his jacket disappearing, only to come back in the form of arms winding around his neck. Jack just laughs and plays with Gabe’s dark curls idly. “You think too much.”

All he gets back is a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” Gabe teases lightly. 

Jack hums as he presses his lips to Gabe’s own in reply. 

He pulls back after a second or two and grins. 

“I didn’t quite get that.” Gabe grins back. “You should run it by me again, just to make sure you  _ really  _ got the point across.”

Jack bursts out laughing at that, hiding his face against Gabe’s shoulder to muffle the noise. 

“C’mon, asshole,” Gabe laughs and pulls him over to the taxi that had just drove up, the both of them squeezing into the back seat. Jack gives his address to the cabbie with a wide grin on his face before leaning back against Gabe’s chest tiredly. 

“You moved?”

Jack feels familiar fingers comb through his hair, Gabe’s other arm wrapping around his waist. 

He nods slowly. 

“Had to.” he shrugs. “Couldn’t afford it any longer.”

They sit in silence for a little longer, before Gabe speaks again. 

“What else did I miss…?” 

Jack hums softly. 

“We….have a lot of catching up to do.” he answers truthfully. “Though not tonight.”

“Not tonight?” Gabe echoes in a question. 

“No.” Jack murmurs, twisting slightly in his seat to press his lips to the underside of Gabe’s jaw. “I have other plans for tonight.”

He pulls away with a wicked grin and settles comfortably against Gabe again, who, unlike before, is having a very hard time staying composed. 

Jack closes his eyes and listens to the muted rumble of the car as it sped through LA.

There were….a lot things that were gonna change now that Gabe was back in his life. 

Tomorrow meant painful conversations, talking about how they were going to try and make everything work, whether Gabe would stay in LA or go back to NYC, and among all that, figuring out how they would fit back in each other’s lives again. 

But…...for all the bad things tomorrow would bring, there was so much  _ good  _ coming too. 

Tomorrow he would wake up and make coffee and Gabe would still be there. 

Tomorrow he could take off work and the two of them could do whatever they goddamn wanted the entire day. 

He could get to know Jesse, maybe convince Ana to bring Fareeha by sometime to see Gabe and-

Jack bolts upright as a thought hits him.. 

“Oh my god.” he breathes. “I almost forgot-”

Jack turns and meets Gabe’s confused expression with an enthusiastic grin, tightly squeezing his hand in excitement. 

“You still have to meet my dog!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ho boy. wow  
> i'm exhausted. i'm sooo exhausted i just got off of a 9 hr shift, my feet hurt, the chef at my work broke like three wine glasses today and i had to scrub the entire kitchen down AND lock up but. here i am  
> i'm posting this for y'all cause it's the last dang chapter!  
> i'm really glad this was so well received. i mean it.   
> as usual, find me at caviteens on tumblr.  
> thank you.
> 
> time for me to SLEEP!!


End file.
